sometimes i will question myself this:

"am i meant to follow?"

how much of a game changer do i need? or rather how much of a game changer am i aiming for?

even so, where is it?

"that's why you should try..."

have you heard of people are players when it comes to relationships?

of course i am not one of them. it takes criteria to be one.

or should i say...maybe it's because i choose to be laid back on this.

or maybe i choose not to hurt others (and most probably myself) till i am not that dangerous.

or maybe i've brainwashed myself with the simple fact that it might be just purely statistical and the visual appeal that helps.

i've no idea of what's next. everything seems so volatile nowadays.

(i know it's no point to dwell on this all day long; but sometimes it just happens when you can't think of anything that can interest you. business ideas of course.)

it's either left or right. and it's human nature to pick a side.

now it's my turn.

lesson learnt from yesterday: business ideas can hardly or never be an idealistic one. it's called a business idea for a reason. they didn't tell us that it has to be ethical.

the emptiness is draining me away.

so...happy valentine.

If Time is All I Have - James Blunt

When you wake up
Turn the radio on
And you'll hear this simple song

That I made up
That I made up for you

When you're driving
Turn the radio up
Cause I can't sing loud enough
Hard these days
To get my message through

If time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you

Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

When you marry
And you look around
I'll be somewhere in that crowd
Torn up, that it isn't me

When you're older
The memories fade
But I know I'll still feel the same
For as long as I live

But if time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you

Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

Won't you say my name, one time
Please just say my name

But if time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you
Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

If time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you

Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

Won't you say my name
When the song is over

jun cheng reminded me of the initial objectives of the solution.

sometimes we just fail to look back and remind ourselves.

was running this morning (aching heel and loss of running form...low morale) when i had a question in mind "why wouldn't you take the risk?"

but i guess the morning air was able to clear my brain matter blockage that i could reply myself out of the blue "would you take it if you were in her shoes?"

if i were you...it's too much of a risk.

sighs.

first day of my chinese new year started with a scare. luckily it's settled after a while.

another kind of boring chinese new year ahead. went out just now for some praying and that's it.

well a new year ahead...certainly hope that i can really show some results. maybe the anxiety is too much in me...but there's nothing better than this when you are in your prime. sometimes looking at my father i realised that the time is now, not by then.

and how i wish...how i wish.

the problem still lies in me, isn't it?