1st week in SI (signal institute). omg...just like what some netizens and my bunk mates say...it's SLACKMONT CAMP. just imagine a whole ippt training program cancelled just because of some drizzles... -.-

realised that i was posted to trunks comm instead of the initially stated (and interpretted) combat signaller...lucky me. though it is still not as good as those from IS but i guess i should be thankful enough.

the first few days were the hardest to pass...lessons and lessons that made me sleep and sleep. but we are even more lucky as we booked out early this week (thursday) and the same for next week. shiok.

but i volunteered for guard duty at the 31st of december...maybe my friend is right that we got nothing much to lose...with details which i am lazy to elaborate here. so i am gonna be in stagmont for the crossover...

went to a x'mas party at toa payoh at thursday night. almost embarassed myself by going there empty handed (there was supposedly a gift exchange). surprisingly quite a crowd there...heard that some of them are from my friend's singing/dancing classes. saw one girl who gave me a better impression (and kwan yong will start talking about xiao hui if he sees this)...but she's as usual attached (sighs).

ate some drank some and played a little before we had the gift exchange. kind of disorganised but we still manage to get ourselves packing off to catch the last mrt rides.

went to quan yi's house for steamboat yesterday. some small stuff pissed me off from the start...but it's long over now. so we bought some stuff for the steamboat at vivocity before taking cab.

had a short mahjong session (surprised that my luck is still ok) and watched quite an amount of dvds before we started the steamboat proper. quan yi's mum is very generous with the soup's content as she put in dried scallops (those bigger ones) and some ribs.

chun boon and i started to converse more...guess it's good...only thing is that it took us so long. oh ya and that's how i end my x'mas. well.

oh ya. some national service pranks and nice china man animations.

well the blocked leave burns like fire. tomorrow i have to report to stagmont camp. oh yes i am posted to signals institute. hopefully not as combat signaller.

of course there might be worse postings (e.g. field engineer) but i still dread the feeling of going back to serve. perhaps i have too easily slipped back into civilian life.

didn't do much these few days besides going out with friends for a movie etc.

well everything has a reason but i feel as if i am going through a period of time where i mainly do things i am forced to...so 'small' little happenings can be like a punch to my face- though it has not knocked me down...yet.

there's always a reason behind the situation. and i guess from there i realised it's not compulsory...perhaps not needed at all.

what's 'better' than rotting around in home for your blocked leave?

didn't do much interesting for the week...and yet didn't give myself much time to rest too.

wanted to go gym this monday...but the platoon mate i sms-ed to didn't reply to me at all...tried to ask him through msn just now about the message- but to no avail. perhaps i am taking too much from this incident but i am raising questions about him.

was also waiting for chances of having street soccer with some of my platoon mates yesterday. again the sms i sent got me no response. hm...maybe there might be a problem with my mobile service or my phone. i shall see how it goes (but it doesn't seem to be the case as i tried sending one to my mother's mobile).

went out with darren to town just now. oh gosh that springfield jacket is still tempting me from afar...and i wanna get the onto headphones! all these will make me eat way into my already tight allowance for this month...sighs.

will get my posting tomorrow. starting to get nervous after a call from weijun just now. hopefully i don't get into 1st guards...and command school too? keeping my fingers crossed...

The faces all around me they don’t smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do have time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for
What are we saving for

There’s a smell of stale fear that’s reeking from our skins.
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins
We sit and grow our roots through the floor
But what are we waiting for?
What are we saving for

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

Somethings always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for
What are we saving for

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I’ve become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

Oh

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

The Bravery- Believe

POP loh!

though up till now i still don't feel upbeat with the fact that i have graduated from tekong but either way at least a stage is completed in my ns life.

the last two days before we had the graduation march are...all about slacking...doing administration stuff and clearing/cleaning of our bunks. oh ya. i got prank on the night before the march...got toothpaste around some parts of my body...but i feel lucky as compared to those who got toothpaste on their armpits (only for those who put their arms behind their heads while sleeping) or toothpaste on their slippers. imagine the feeling they got when they stepped onto their slipper full of toothpaste when they just woke up. the other case had the victim's spectacle lenses in toothpaste too.

the march...frankly speaking i don't really feel tired; with the exception of the period while we marched for the 16km to 20km section (mainly due to the rocky and steep terrain). perhaps it's the effect of knowing that we will pass out after this (which i don't feel so) that pushed many of us onward. but of course there's people who fall out because of small little problems (a.k.a. chao geng) and people who are forced to fall out due to heat exhaustion at the 20th km point. feeling sad for them or not, it seems like they will have to re-do it at this coming saturday.

as the parade goes on i finally felt that it really marks the end of my basic military training...no longer a recruit...

very happy that my father came to attend and put on the jockey cap for me. the surprise package was from the appearance of my mother- who couldn't make it at the start. but i am sorry for giving her an elbow strike while i was trying to put my arms over her for the photo shoot. haha.

my legs finally felt the ache when i stood almost all the way during the mrt trip. after alighting i still had to walk back to my home...especially with the field pack full of stuff.

hopefully with this 'long' blocked leave i can catch up with as many people as possible. and perhaps some rest.

gonna pass out next wednesday. but didn't feel as anxious as before. during the week the parade rehearsals and hectic schedules wore me out. and the weekend...i didn't give myself much time to rest too. in fact the weekend is more like a depressing one.

the oc's evening (we renamed it as commander's evening because our oc didn't attend...ironically) was full of fun and laughter. but there was this moment where i agreed with the host that we should be sad that we will be the last batch of recruits who are called yankee...because there will be something like yankee 2 after us...what kind of lame naming is that.

can't even run properly in the park this morning. i guess my mind wasn't set on that.

i guess i am feeling down not because something happened not to my liking...it's more like something (not to my liking) happened even before i try to do something about it.

perhaps things would be different should i have tried.

but i doubt i can do much either...especially when you have nothing to play onto the table. yet i don't wanna say pass that easily.

it is really funny when you keep doing something -even when you know you will hit straight onto the wall. the pain is always so similar...so familiar.

it's a god damn lucky week for me- booked out at wednesday night, no remedial training and booking in at sunday evening.

but the 16km route march at wednesday was kind of tough. thanks to the inclusion of the other companies we were going at a slower speed...but during the last 4km segment we were only marching as a company itself so the commanders got back to the yankee speed that we are most familiar with...and the speed we most dreaded of.

towards the last 2km or so i volunteered 2 of my buddies to cling their hands onto my field pack; hoping that they will carry on and not give up at the very last part of the march. somehow with them at my backs i felt better- perhaps they motivated me to pull through the march too.

got a new phone and sim card before i went out with ashley to sitex at expo. feel that the show got more boring than the previous show. so as a customer (after so long as a promoter) i was really curious why were there so many people at the show.

in no mood to start doing my peer appraisal which is due next week. i just don't feel like doing anything much now.

maybe it is part of the big prank.

it's the first time i felt so lazy to post anything here during the past one month or so. many things happened along the way...but the main thing is i am gonna pass out soon!

let's start from field camp. i would say it's the toughest period for me in the entire bmt phase. field disciplines have to be kept at all times and it was really a big change of environment for me. so much so that i start to loathe outfield now. in times of shit i also came to see the real faces of people (i think so); especially those from my section. while i feel disappointed to see some really shrink away from extra work, there were also guys who are always there to help others out.

i would really like to thank all those who encouraged me with their letters- my family, jun cheng and miss cheng. was very surprised that i could receive not one but three letters. at that point of time even though i never had the thought of defending my country before but at least i feel i should persevere to protect those i value and cherish.

the week after that was mainly on our live range. another tough experience for me. thanks to our oc who wants as many marksmen as possible, i had to re-shoot and re-shoot even though i have already passed the range. i got so sicked of it as i kept shooting from day to night (i actually attended all the re-shoots at daytime and thankfully there's only 1 round of night shooting for everybody) and of course the rifle maintenance after that also proved to be a headache for me.

our oc wants us to win the best company award and wants us to go all out for the games day...which is like...never mind. and guess what? i am in the drill squad. too bad i don't have the skills to play volleyball or frisbee nor the strength to join the tug of war...and too bad there's no soccer. all the precision drills are making me go dizzy and tired in the right arm.

this week was on situational test. last outfield crap in bmt. but the weather wasn't that great throughout the event and i didn't get a good assessor when i was appointed as the in charge for one of the stations.

think i did a big mistake when i rejected to try going to command school. simply said i am cutting down my chances to raise through the ranks. not having enough time to consider doesn't seem to be a good reason too.

next came the peer appraisal. i thought i tried my best to rank my platoon mates in order from my judgement but upon hearing some other comments after the peer appraisal...well maybe i am wrong for some of the inputs.

almost had confinement this week due to rifle stun during the field camp. but somehow i only got remedial training this week. though it was kind of hectic but it was still better than confinement and some sol guys i met at friday night.

so i booked out at thursday evening, met up with jun cheng at bugis friday afternoon, then booked in at the night later (when i lost my handphone...damn. lost all my contacts now.). went out with weijun yesterday to bugis again to find his saver plan agent and chill out. saw this pair of very pale blue jeans selling at forty plus dollars. tempted me so much but didn't purchase it as the thought of spending on a new phone means my expenditure is shooting up only days after getting my pay. but in the end i've decided to more or less buy it next week. haha.

field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp field camp

six total days of shit coming up. the idea of reporting sick and attending the remedial session loiters around my mind. so how? suck thumb again?

i'll just pray that it doesn't rain for the week, we shall get lesser punishments and be able to book out at saturday night.

wish me luck again people.

this week was hectic and shagged. damn lots of physical training packed within the last three days of the week. lots of running in general.

good news is finally we can bring our psps into the camp. we are gonna do grenade throwing next week. bad news is that i am going to field camp the week after next. the sian inside me is just like a over-filled bottle.

went out with weijun and darren to town yesterday and watched hurt locker. i was doubtful when darren told me that it's very nice. he even promised that if i feel that the movie is crap he will compensate me with $11 (when the ticket prices is $10 at saturdays). i have to admit that the movie really depicts about the different kinds of US troops stationed in the iraq or afghanistan. the storyboard and character development is strong throughout the movie and seriously i recommend this movie to all those guys still in army (but not guys with their girlfriends dozing off halfway in the theatre). it's not the kind of movie where it's bombs and gunshots raining down. instead this movie emphasises on the mental aspect of soldiers in situations far worse than what i think a field camp is. either way i still tried to ask for compensation at the end of the movie but to no avail. a unique military-based movie. must watch.

to weijun:

either way try your best. because you shouldn't regret after that; no matter what happens in the end. i've been there...so i shall say that it's more about learning and growing from this experience. don't give up so easily...but if needed learn to let go slowly.

lastly be mentally prepared when you watch this:

this week was still kind of ok...booked out at friday night (being the second company to do so) and shared a cab between three other friends.

had a long day out yesterday shopping, attending a friend's 21st birthday and catching up with the people involved. chipped in for a fossil wallet as the birthday gift while getting myself a tee and shirt.

exercised a little and jogged this morning. slacking at home now.

as usual i still don't appreciate the feeling to go back to tekong. especially when there will be AGR and speed training together for tomorrow (for those who understand what i mean, the worse part is that i am in group A for these trainings).

true one month has passed but there's another nine weeks to follow. i am trying to keep my mindset positive but whenever it comes to these moments...the feeling is still not right. ever since the air force has held a talk on signing up a full time contract with them, the thought of whether i should do so or not has been lingering at the back of my head. but as for now my decision is leaning towards no. i am also starting to think whether i will be able to tough it out and make it to the BSLC course. hopefully i can get them done with and settled soon enough. but let me overcome the feeling of booking in first.

confinement was...kind of fast but tough for me. i don't really have time to elaborate...but for now...i really don't wanna go back. back to all these shit.

what should i do, candy?

i don't have much time to elaborate (gonna go pasir ris @ 3.30pm) so i shall keep it short:

to weijun:

jiayou arh. since it's in your hands grab hold of it as long as possible and enjoy the process. but of course always keep yourself in check- even outsiders like us have learnt a lot from chun boon's case.

to jun cheng:
really thanks a lot for your company and encouragement. i have kept your sms in my phone as a note to remind myself. i know i am weak in the mind...but time will fly in tekong bah i guess.

so for the sake of all my friends and you, giving up is out of my dictionary during my bmt. wish me luck people.

back from tekong!

somehow i wasn't really excited while inside the ferry...maybe i was already shag from the trainings today.

well generally the schedule for the 1st week is way too hectic for somebody slower like me. on one hand i am glad that i have some long time ncc background to back me up, but on the other i am still trying to adapt and accept this kind of lifestyle.

physically i am miles away from my sergeants' expectations...and frankly speaking with the criteria of only passing the ippt to have a chance to enter the command school is making me feel low. even though i am quite confident that as time goes i will be able to perform (besides the fitness side), but again, the benchmark for us is still ippt.

my sergeants...i should really say they are lenient with us...at least for now. so i am quite worried for our confinement week when we are more or less on ourselves. moreover i can already see quite a potential of people just doing stuff the way they like it. and this sounds like the start of real hell.

for now i am just wishing that tomorrow will be as long as possible.

"as the image fades, i realised that i've failed you."

--yesterday--

went out to comex @ suntec with my friends. the route from citylink mall to suntec was already filled with people by early afternoon.

met them up and spent quite a while at level 6 (it's too crowded inside) walking around and catching up with those colleagues i had when i was working part time for them as their show promoter.

in the end i upgraded my lap top's memory and bought some cheap ear phones from sonicgear.

we really took a long while to decide on going to swensens for dinner and get our food onto our tables (it's a long and kind of irritating story so i shall not elaborate). because i had another appointment with jun cheng @ clementi, i finished my food and left off early.

i was already late by 2 hours plus when i found him (really sorry!). so we settled down at a coffee shop with drinks and a plate of rojak. well sometimes a simple catch up with a close friend is still better than fanciful outing ideas with so many friends at once.

--today--

just checked my own checklist for the third time and packed everything into a bag (surprisingly). started to feel the nervousness from the start of morning. i really wonder whether i will be able to sleep properly tonight.

i think i will really miss my friends...maybe my family too. but on the other hand i am kind of excited and nervous of the road ahead...new people...new environment...new animals and new stuff to learn.

"only if you were there to sing me a song for tonight. just for tonight."

i know it's kind of late if i were to say team fortress 2 is a cool game...but i was too bored just now till i watched this introduction video for the engineer class:

one of the video footage provided from my friend:



well with this video i am pretty sure my heart is dead for the miss singapore contestants.

i can assure you with both of my eyes that there's local girls better looking than our bold representative here (those people who hang out often in the town will get what i mean). even so...the answers she gave are very...singaporean (stereotyped)?

grammatical errors...bold replies (e.g. something like "it's about me") without satisfactory explanations...and maybe she is not quick minded?

--friday--

went out with weijun to suntec to look out for his watch (as in his 21st birthday gift from his parents). i don't know how much he has researched around for the various brands and models but he just went to fossil upon our suggestion (maybe the prices are nearer to the budget given by his parents) previously.

so we got a skilled promoter recommending us the latest collections...and so weijun kept asking whether this is nice or what not...even the promoter suggested to weijun to ask me whenever she brings out one new piece out from the display cabinet (and i was like...huh? erm...ok).

in the end he bought one trendy roast gold coloured for around two hundred plus. then we went to epic centre so that weijun could buy the iphone ear piece for kim as her late birthday gift.

decided to watch district 9 but realised that gv doesn't show it so we had to move to the cathay and get the tickets first. since we were out we also decided to shop around for stuff. went to domanchi and i bought a checkered shirt. design's not bad...just that the fabric is kind of unfamiliar with what i would normally wear on. weijun chanced upon a blue/white shirt which i don't really recommend him of buying straight away. since (and as usual) kim turned up for the movie, we left to meet her up and decide on the shirt after the movie. had dinner at carl's junior before we made way back to the cathay.

district 9 is really a meaningful show. i didn't know that it was directed by peter jackson until i was at the opening...and thus it got me kind of curious on the movie. frankly speaking if darren didn't spill some beans beforehand i wouldn't have understood the real meaning behind the movie. but despite being a movie with low costs i think it was well done.

went back to domanchi to decide on the shirt before we left for home.

some guys around me have this tendency to be the 'better guy around' in the group if that somebody he likes is in it. i admit i might have this bad habit shown previously but now i realised (and experienced) from the view of the rest in the group. it's still better to be myself at all times.

--saturday--

woke up at 7am to buy some simple breakfast for my family. left home at 9 plus to get the birthday cake from jurong point before i set off to derrick's house. at that i saw windows 7 ultimate myself and played a little of prototype on ps3 (damn nice) before we set off to marina square to leave the cake at kbox and make reservations first.

meet up time was supposedly at 1pm (i apologise because even the planner myself was late for half a hour) but in the end we could only leave marina bay mrt station at 2pm. as a result the picnic (note: the idea of picnic was not proposed by me, i merely took over from kwan yong's idea and planned from there as he is busy with his advanced bslc course) was kind of hastily done because i made reservations for us to start from 3-4pm.

thought it's gonna be the typical small rooms for the seven of us but it turned out that we were given a bigger room. sing sang sung (cut the cake too and gave the couple gv cards as gifts) till 8pm and had a simple dinner at pizzahut. the new spaghetti dishes seem quite good (i had some mushroom spaghetti).

--------------------------------------------------

korea is the hottest place in the entertainment industry right now and with the various girl bands like wonder girls and SNSD emerging, this relatively quiet category of fans known as fanboys are also surfacing in terms of their numbers and as well as their passion, enthusiasm for their favourite band/artiste. but they come in all kinds of...well. here's a few videos i saw from a k-pop website:

1st we have a small little boy dancing at some dbsk mv



next we have a fan who made a song for his favourite cl from 2NE1



then we have a guy dancing to a girl's dance (he looks like what yu jae seok would do in infinity challenge)



lastly some hardcore fans for SNSD

thought i can grow more lazy bones before i enter tekong...but i have been painting the walls of my house for the past three days. oh man my parents sure know about the concept of potential man hour loss. i always used the phrase 'order and ask me like buffet' to best describe such situations.

but frankly speaking the job itself is not very tedious as you might imagine. i am currently painting a side of the living room per day. a couple of hours and i will be done. the troublesome part lies on moving the furniture and whatever away from the wall and trying to avoid getting paint on areas that shouldn't be painted (which mainly results in me wiping the paint off frantically with a rag).

went out earlier on to collect my new biometric passport. kind of a long trip to lavender but luckily i am accompanied by my mp3 player and psp. was kind of surprised when i was notified that my passport will expire at next year. then i found out that i will need to take some oath crap before i can use the passport normally with 5 years of validity (when i already have a pink ic? will need to call them up tomorrow).

ordered a belgium chocolate cake for my friend's birthday celebration at this saturday. largely because i am one of the most free guys lazing around in the cliq, i planned the outing in a form of picnic (and obviously this isn't my idea; i merely took over from somebody else). but because i it seems that i ordered a smaller cake (only 1/2 kg) for a crowd of 7 i am kind of worried whether with the inclusion of other foodstuff will be able to fill our stomachs or not. the weather is also something i am concerned with. i certainly wouldn't want history to repeat again...but the location (marina barrage) is somewhere i am not familar with so the wet weather plan might be a headache for me.

lastly a very innovative honda advertisement to share. i really respect the people who put so much effort to link all of these stuff up. singaporeans still have to look up to the japanese when it comes to such stuff.

it just irritates me to find myself repeating the same mistake over and over again. i really have to think and do something properly for this- for such a flaw in my personality will affect the rest of my life.

on the other hand i really have to appreciate those who can still stand my nonsense and repeat the same advice to help me out. they are always there when i need help; they always happen to be there when i screw up (sometimes even unknowingly myself). as little as i want to lose them, but all these anxiety and impatient bit of me surfaced and urged me again to get it done asap.

so it's just simply: listen. think. then reply.

maybe i should start by watching 'Yes Man' again. perhaps everything starts from a 'yes'.

EDIT: Upon looking at this post i realised i might be wrong at what i've said at the previous post. maybe this is how some people work?

dear botak,

i admit i am always bad at telling my friends these kind of stuff but somehow i don't feel like leaving it in my heart like a chunk. but it might be pointless since i doubt you do read my posts very often.

though it's just a few events that made me feel so but i think as time goes i am afraid that the more you hope (and spend more effort) the more disappointed you will be.

actually the actual purpose of me questioning you so much (in your opinion) is because you didn't realise how tight your schedule is. you wanted to ask her out for a movie at 1 plus and you asked me only at 12 plus. nevermind me feeling like being some decoy again, but what irritates me is yet another last minute stuff from you. and the worse part is she might be late for that movie slot and we will have to wait till the next slot at 2 plus. even that you were fine with that when you will have hell of a rushing to do to make it to the ferry terminal back to tekong. in the end i was asked by you why did i have so many questions when i wasn't intending to go.

well ultimately it lies in you botak; it's your path anyway. it's no wrong of you to try but fancy making yourself rushing for time just to suit her schedule (or to see her) is kind of...unfair to yourself? don't you wanna have sometime for yourself after every week of tekong crap (besides all the gaming at home)?

and to all my close friends, please remind me if i were to have such symptoms surfacing next time...i don't like it sticky either.

1 month just flew past when you are working. another one and i will be on the ferry to tekong. time is god damn fast.

went to marina square's changing appetites to treat my friend chun leng for lunch. he was late for meet up so i decided to go recee to see whether it would be crowded or something.

and i have to spend so long to get to there. and surprisingly it's damn empty. from i saw there's only one family dining.

i doubted the need to do any last minute reservations so i went up to the arcade and rot.

chun leng arrived and we had a very filled lunch. each of us had a main dish, shared a big jack (a almost jug sized cup full of chocolate) and a cup of iced lemon tea, one big mudpie, and an ice cream.

i am actually quite glad that i have found another person to keep in contact after my poly days (even though he had some harsh words on me during my work period before). though we were classmates for the past three years but i didn't really get to know him more.

then went to friend's 21st birthday at the aloha chalet@loyang. was kind of bored for the whole thing but the event was kind of fine. luckily we made it on time for the last few trains back home.

how should i say it...i can't say i hate that...but i feel that i am 'poked' whenever that topic is touched on.

it's something i can't deny- yes i have that problem. but everytime the same stuff are being said and yet i feel more and more being left out. i guess my weakness of not focusing for long contributes to this but...ah forget it.

as i mentioned there's no hate involved...maybe i should be careful of what i say...but that means the gap will widen as time goes by.

hm...for this week i can say work is kind of smooth for me...i am doing my stuff at my own pace (without considering the effects on my kpi). only times when i get stressed up is only when my boss asks me to get the bugs solved.

have already heard from my friend that he will be offered an extension of contract. so my guess is that my last day is more or less set...since i have ns to serve and isn't any near my friend's technical standard.

ashley just asked me whether i enjoyed this job or not. a quick thought on it...i realised that after so long...IT is still not my first option. simply put i don't see myself as a IT geek.

am considering whether should i take up management or economics for university. but i have all the time now to decide now.

but my friend was right. if i have decided to be in the business sector, i shouldn't be working here and instead try to build my portfolio up in that sector.

have this idea of asking them out. but my guess is that they will be too busy to do so. or maybe not.

hectic week for me. have not been on time to leave work...so basically the daily routine is to go to work, come back home, finish chores and personal stuff, korean variety shows and sleep. kind of no life unless it's friday and the weekends.

went off work late (with undone stuff) to meet up weijun first at ion. finally understood the layout of the mall upon the second visit to there. was tempted by a blazer looking jacket with hood at topman...but that will cost me a hundred plus. damn.

moved to dhoby ghaut to meet up with kim for dinner at astons (fourth floor, the cathay). surprisingly such small restaurants are always well received as we had to queue and wait. had steaks before kim goes to work while weijun and i went home.

another half day for me at work. was quite irritated with my poly friends with the outing timings and turn of events. initially there was a movie outing and at the last minute it was called off. so in the end went to lunch with weijun and kim again before i went back to home.

------------------------------

i am feeling kind of...low? or just weird? maybe it's just becuase it's msn messenger that we are using but...it seems like there's a problem and yet i can't explain what is it. i thought i was in the channel i want but...there are times like now that i feel that i am the only person in my own world. or feel unsecure with what i think, believe in or interpret as.

--saturday--

in my mind i never had an experience of going to office for work on a saturday before. surprisingly the morning rush is still very prominent in the mrt carriages.

reached the workplace to find out that i am one of the very first few. and i thought nobody (especially from my side) is gonna come for work. so i nervously called my friend chun leng to check. phew it's just that they will normally report a little later at weekends.

thought my supervisor will come and brief me for the stuff i need to complete asap but in the end she didn't appear at all.

initially i was stuck between two outings with my friends...but in the end i decided to drop out one of them and go along with the movie outing. but the people from the other side (actually only one) just keeps pestering me. i am sorry but the timing of the outing set for that was right in the middle of the free time i have before i go over to the chalet.

yet the movie outing was clouded with uncertainty as i had lunch with chun leng and had fun in the cineleisure arcade. in the end i met them only at around 4 plus when the bbq is starting at 5. so in the end i got to nowhere out of the two outings (and i was kind of pissed of this and some other stuff not worth mentioning).

reached downtown east and bought the bbq fan before i went in to block L to realised that i paid a dollar to the wrong side of costa sands.

finally reached the poolside to see the bbq fire just started. initially when i first heard of that i will be going to a chalet just with four girls, i believed i couldn't really feel comfortable with this new experience that i will have. but ever since i started helping out with the fanning of the fire...it feels like the korean variety show family outing? haha.

i was kind of hungry during the bbq (before all the food were done) so i got myself hooked on the hand made sushi made by ashley and her friend. but the whole thing was smooth and soon enough we were done with all the food we were supposed to grill. so we had them in the air-conditioned room watching harry potter.

more tv till we were full and starting taking turns to shower. card games were next as weijun called me for something regarding about her. basically i didn't really give a damn about her now so i encouraged him to just know her more before deciding...just in case the decision made now becomes a lose-lose situation.

played game of life (a version i've never played before) and won surprisingly by a margin. we chatted till 4 plus before we slept.

--sunday--

after waking up at 6.30am for the past six days i managed only to wake up at 8am. the rest of them were still sleeping at the other section of the unit. with me curled up on the sofa and the cold living room area, i decided to take my mp3 player and bask in the morning sunlight outside.

soon they woke up one by one and we decided to have our brunch at the EHub before we check out. went to this hong kong restaurant and i had spicy seafood spaghetti in white wine and a cup of hot yuan yang (i don't know why they had it as ying yang in the menu). shared jokes during the meal, with me spending most of the time trying to answer ashley's "what's under there?" question.

went back...packed up and got a ride from ashley's dad.

and now...though i have napped for a hour or so at the afternoon...i am still kind of drowsy and down with some heavy flu i think. maybe it's the usual ailments when i am tired.

another week in front of me to tough it out.

(taken from wayang times)

so you think why would i post these pictures for nothing? these girls from china are apparently the F1 beauty queens!

well no offence but...i've never bothered about our local race queens...i believe that one top japanese race queen is enough to make all our girls at our backyard shut up and cry in despair. for once i thought there might be a even tougher competitor from the P.R.C. but apparently...well you got it.

i strongly believe in such events companies involved would try to get the best models for promotion but it's really shocking to see china (with so many people to choose from) "failing" on such events.

second day of my work and i am already feeling the pinch. sighs my programming skills have gone from bad to worst due to the rust. to think that i was still aiming for an extension of contract till the end of august...for now i would be very happy to just stay still till the end of this contract.

yesterday i finally had the chance to sit during the mrt trip from raffles place but it got crowded shortly and an old guy was standing back facing me. so i stood up and placed my hand on his shoulder. somehow i was with my ear phones hooked and didn't thought of verbally asking him to have my seat. so i actually hand signalled him to take the seat without facial expression (which actually looks kind of angry).

some poster i found over the net.

been quite long since i last ran at the park nearby. somehow it turned into a venting out session. but at least now i feel prepared for the job tomorrow.

i seriously still can't accept the fact that her iphone hung yesterday. i know i sound childish but i am not very interested when i heard that she's asking weijun and me out for movie at saturday. i still have ashley's chalet to attend to later.

i am really looking forward to the chalet this weekend. not because i will be surrounded by girls but the night (i hope) will be between me, the sea breeze and my green bottle.

maybe it's really a rush of blood to the head. such things never come easily. and the worse you are, the lesser it is. perhaps i should really believe in this. all right this is derived from my negative side but isn't that a fact?

i've always said to myself that i should let that die off...and yet i chose to defy what i should have done. enough said. i shall not leave any debris for that cliq and case closed. i shouldn't be dragging the cliq down just because of my selfish and impatient acts.

i am sorry jun cheng but sometimes...never does happen.

let the job...two years of ns come into me. although i will never be prepared for these but...place me in that situation and i will get pass it.

changes will come. just that if the end product is like a frankenstein...don't be too surprised.

i am a little sleepy while posting this...why?

i think i had the longest phone call with weijun yesterday...i remembered it was like from 12 plus or 1 plus till 4.30 am.

i guess sometimes my brain is just too lazy to think hard...i knew there are problems but i don't really cared or know on what and how do i solve them. so i am sure weijun pieced up many parts of the puzzle for me yesterday.

but now...even though that impatient bit of me is still on running loose...i am not going to close myself anymore. instead of smirking at one dark corner of your world, why not go outdoors and embrace yourself in sunlight?

i strongly encourage anyone who sees this post to remind or even scold me if i were to turn back into that pessimistic old self again.

i am very sure many things wouldn't have happened that way should my mindset wasn't in that direction. you agree with me, jo?

i am apologetic to all of my friends who tried to help me all these while. i shouldn't let all these saliva and typing go to waste. so now it's simple:

you can stand there and not move; but don't complain. you can move on and improve; but prove it.

i just feel like venting everything out here before i can really sleep.

just got back from outing. kind of crowd at there. left the bunch of guys after they decided to go sisha.

mood was kind of low for the day. darren told me quite a bit of stuff which i wouldn't bother elaborating here. but it's just some...bad facts about me. i do admit that when i talk about things i tend to get serious and is always (and seriously) lacking a sense of humour. i am really sorry to those who thought they are talking to a retard all these while.

true that i do want to change...but why is everybody looking for finished products? are they finished too? i wouldn't really mind if i were to find out that somebody is flawed during a relationship (of any kind, of course). aren't relationships supposed to help each other become a better self?

so after the club's annual general meeting in the school i didn't bother to talk much. are things supposed to work this way?

after that i waited for a bloody 30 minutes plus for a crowded night rider bus service.

either way i will have to choose between two possible sides of outing like...twelve hours later? i don't know whether i should go and turn her off or to go join a clique which i will be more quiet throughout the meal.

cute boy shying when he mispronounces the word "thermometer":



and the bulgarians have the teleportation system! beware!



and that was kind of harsh on his girlfriend:



just went to watch the movie "i love you man" with her just now. i totally enjoyed the movie...hilarious and meaningful. besides that...i should say i am starting to enjoy the process- seeing her then looking forward to see her again.

of course the fact that she treats all guys the same is always at the back of my head. it haunts me at times...but since i wanna go on i must take the risk. at least i wouldn't regret that i was standing still and doing nothing.

yesterday was like hell of a roller coaster ride. hm even now i am a little confused on where should i start...

sms-ed botak (actually he deserves to have his real name here-weijun) when he was on his way back to tekong...suddenly the thought of what happened between my friend, a girl and i flashed. so i had the feeling of clearing up before i dive in too deep to settle such issues.

i wouldn't blame him for his unclear answer but i was right in asking him first about this.

so after that i asked my friend (darren) about something similar. so some of the facts are confirmed and those were the stuff that set me on a dip. so basically there were issues of potential competition, the fact that she treats everybody the same (or should i say nicely) and most importantly where should i stand now.

but personally i have to thank ashley, jun cheng and darren for their help. somehow you guys' advice were able to string up nicely.

hm...so what i summed up was:

- she treats everybody the same
- i should think of what she says/does as what she would do as a friend, nothing else
- it's a simple question; so it's between want or not

with these points i think i actually took a step back. then i realised i don't have an answer for the third point. and so...why should i be bothered with the rest of the people?

jun cheng's point was more explicit in this sense (i had my msn nick as "lines i couldn't change" and even with that he can elaborate using lines -.-). it's only about the line between two points. two person.

so therefore i concluded that my mind was wandering too far out, too reactive on this and thought that it was easy.

what am i gonna do next? i shall deal it with my own pace, with more rationality i hope. case closed.

a very interesting video which shows about what does it look and sound like from under.

SURFACE : A film from underneath



yesterday was kind of...should i say fun? or just satisfying?

got myself kind of running on self high after i was invited to a last minute lunch appointment...woke my botak friend up at 10 plus (which he should be awake but he was tired) and set off as soon as possible.

so we met at clarke quay and had ramen at my favourite japanese restaurant in the central. so botak and i each had char siew shoyu(or soy sauce) ramen and their yummy cold egg(i forgot its name) while she had char siew shiou(or salt) ramen. even though botak and i both felt that their char siew is not as good as before, but i guess...i was kind of happy.

left kind of hastily after the last person to finish (which is me) realised that it's kind of late for her work. oh my god...we were supposed to walk to raffles place but in the end we were almost lost in the concrete jungle. in the end she was damn late...i felt so embarrassed...

oh well. so botak and i left to city hall thinking that my other friend is still working at the gaming show. luckily we didn't contact him after we reached suntec to find out that he worked that only for a day...or else it would have turned out to be a wild goose chase. haha.

botak thinks its gay of only me to accompany him go watch ice age 3...my friend wants to come out(from his house) and meet us yet botak wants to go back early...so in the end it was called off. but in the end i managed to persuade to spend a little more while looking for his cap instead of just going back and waste this trip off. so we travelled to bugis (i suggested orchard but got rejected -.-) for one.

it didn't take long for him to like this light grey cap. it's not bad on him from what i see too and he bought it straight without going around for more options. i was actually looking for one too but was kind of hesitant on what kind of caps can suit me. i remembered i wouldn't look great on caps...so shall look around for something real good to cover my botak head later.

window shopped a little more while (saw bermudas that i like but they are a little costly for me now) before we headed home.

looking forward to see her again i guess. i have this weird habit of feeling more comfortable when i talk to someone face to face or at least through the phone. sms, msn or even facebook (which i simply don't own one) kind of communication is kind of...oh well. i just prefer the personal touch in communication more.

oh ya. another ad i just saw:

woke at the blue hour
waiting for the new morning
it's only the breeze and me

dragged towards the mirror
saw a tired child
it's only the mirror and me

that vague feeling surfaces
i know it's you
watching me at the door

slowly i stepped forward
dragging my dark baggage
to find you back

into my arms, yes

so the first rays
touched on your silhouette
and you left me

staring at my dark self
yes, something i chose to live with
something you left from

(p.s. this a small little try at something that sounds like literature/song when i was bored earlier on. try to keep your volume of laughter minimised.)

you might feel a little uncomfortable with this:



and some pranks that i surely be embarrassed if i were in their shoes:





and this is the latest gameplay release for the much anticipated fifa 10:



i am sure this game title will be a nasty blow to the ever popular pro evolution soccer. intially i only had titles like diablo 3, starcraft 2 or some of the top racing titles in my mind to play once once i build my own pc up but now looks like i have another title to bear in mind. and to think that i was once a pro evolution soccer fan...what can i say?

went to watch transformers yesterday (monday)...kind of cool to see the detailed animations here and there but personally i will still like terminator over it for its storyline.

my friends and i were in the giant @ vivocity (buying drinks/snacks for the movie later) when we saw small transformers figurines being sold. i suggested we each have one and raise the figurines when we see the animations of them transforming during the movie. sadly that was strongly "rejected". haha.

didn't expect myself to be out for another movie (ghosts of girlfriend's past) just now (tuesday). thought the movie will be kind of bored or what ever. however i managed to see quite an amount of good online reviews for this movie before i got out of the house. doesn't really matter anyway since i have another chance to go out.

i have to say it's been a long while since i watched a movie that is mainly on romance. this movie...i guess it sets me thinking and more motivated. imagine a movie that can trigger a stubborn mule (in this field) like me. it must be better for you, reader.

and frankly speaking that connor mead in the movie is actually of someone near i once portrayed myself as when i grow older...a great talker, rich and super duper flirty. never gets serious in a relationship. sees such stuff lightly, absurd and something not required of.

but i got two messages from this movie:
- life will be meaningless if you are perfect
- pain is better than regret

somehow it triggers me to not restrain what my heart says (that much) and not to hesitate much. i certainly hope so but i will wanna be a better self instead of standing still and do nothing besides grumbling.

so after the movie i was more of enthusiastic. had a fine chat with them at starbucks and we were quite engrossed in her problems faced in fashion, styles and so on. oh surprisingly i believe that i can be of help for female fashion (it was from long ago ever since my sister/mother consulted me on such stuff).

perhaps that can be our common topic. perhaps that can be a good start for a bad talker/wooden block like me.

hilarious video on what might have happened when eve first met adam:



and this is kind of funny:



enjoy.

to all the hardcore LV fans out there check out the latest products on sale:




anyway those are the pigs from china. it's just sad to see that businesses nowadays are just out for more monetary benefits. long gone were society culture, ethical issues and so on.

some more funny commercials to share:



*in case you are not sure what the ad is about, it's from an insurance company.



suddenly had an urge to go out and walk around (more likely because of unforeseen situations). feeling a little uneasy on the supposedly outing tomorrow to watch transformers. nothing is finalised now...especially when we are watching it during the weekends.

sometimes i can't help but feel helpless on the way i think. not much people's (of i know) mindsets can assure that i am on some channel...but a lot of my friends around me seem to contradict myself at times...

everybody has to convince themselves that their idea or action is right at times. but sometimes abusing it leads to personalities like those i met before. maybe it actually leads to arrogance.

maybe i am just too worried that i might turn into a pest in others' eyes.

some of you might have already seen this weird guy dancing around different parts of the world in the recent visa advertisement. this guy is matt harding and this idea was originally his:



and he recently had a conference (which i wonder why) to rebuke on comments online that this whole thing was a hoax:



almost another sleepless night yesterday. yawns.

had quite a while rolling around my bed thinking...as i thought they don't really have what will attract me at the first sight. am i really drawn by their personalities? or i just becoming the bastard looking around for short term replacements? i strongly urge anyone close to me...please stop me if i were to ever turn one. haha. because i have never thought the idea of FAG (F*ck And Go) is wrong.

looks like my brain never goes idle. keeping myself busy might be a good idea to keep myself out of trouble for long.

either way i have decided to just keep it as it is now...since i am the stupid kind of guy in this kind of stuff. the so called time limit i gave myself so is still damn long...heck those test water stuff or whatever. not till i get out of my hard shell.

i was supposed to go out with my classmates and watch transformers today but too bad...i had agreed to go watch that with another cliq before they asked me.

oh god this is really funny. try to watch this from the start and i am sure the shock/laughter comes towards the end of the video:



and this:



oh well.

just went out with my friends to settler's cafe at smu.

i got the message only when i woke up from my nap and was quite late when i reached. had our orders for dinner and started playing games. haha it's been quite a while since i had fun with my friends.

there was this particular pair game that tests the "telepathy" between the pair. basically the pair each will have to write down a number of words that are related to the given text or picture within a time limit. after that same words that are written down by each other will determine how many steps will the checker (representing the pair) will move on the game board.

oh well too lazy to write it all down but guess you get the point. so on my other side two good buddies (or "gay partners") against my female friend and me. somehow we were able to keep up and with the guys in the other side of the table.

we played that for like...a hour near two? haha. we were stuck till we played in a way whereby each of us write down only a word and if any pair wins they will be winners (because all of us are just a step away from the finishing line).

in the end we won! haha. was kind of estatic with the win from the last minute pair up.

test test water...

went out to queensway shopping centre with my friend. as usual my picky attitude got myself nothing much in attention with...except for a t-shirt with some nice prints on it. but because that is a designer t-shirt (or rather that's what the owner says), it's kind of high on the price. $32/pc i remember. guess the owner turned desperate upon seeing our reactions, so he offered us 50 plus for two pieces. ah things seem to get better...but my friend can't find a design he liked...too bad then.

i wanted to have a second look at the springfield pouch i was interested in so we got onto a bus to orchard. moved around tangs, far east, isetan and even cineleisure. isetan was selling the pouch at a discounted price and that really tempted me. but my friend raises doubt on its security...especially when i am gonna hang it on my back. another question is how often am i gonna use it...but i thought it was ok as i will bring my psp, mp3 player and holga camera (hopefully soon) around often. argh i am still pondering at this moment.

saw a pair of converse sneakers that are discounted at 20% off- a price which is not found in other places as we walked around for options. so when we decided to go back, tangs is closed. 5 plus in the afternoon. why? a stupid singtel private event. (so i have to buy it later and go serangoon with it... -.-)

i seriously need a "finance minister" next time...quite worried by my spending habits nowadays. kind of afraid that i am already having the mentality of using the wrong stuff to attract the wrong kind of crowd.

long yesterday out with a guy who is having his first sleep in tekong peacefully (hopefully).

waited for a god damn hour for my friend at dover mrt station. was very pissed about it. but that was a trivial issue...just hope that he wouldn't do it again.

went to far east to have subway for lunch. next was kinokuniya to look for holga cameras.

totally fascinated by the sample photos taken using holga cameras...especially that you can use different lenses for effects (e.g. fish eye lens to have black corner effects on your photos) or do something to your negative too. but the prices shown in kinokuniya was quite a turn off for me. most of the average cameras start at $100 onwards.

then we went to some shops around orchard/somerset before we left for city hall to meet up with the soon to be bald guy.

friend was interested in t-shirts (like me) so we went to the peninsula shopping centre (not the burmese fortress) upon my suggestion. in the end we got two tees. another guy joined us from work but he left for another job soon after. interesting.

crossed the road to the burmese fortress. first stop was the so called "chamber of secrets" where i was looking for shoes among hundreds of them (imagine a small shop with hundreds of shoes stacked everywhere inside and the interior is so quiet that it's like a chamber...thus the name flashed through my mind and there you go. chamber of secrets.).

then we looked for more cameras. all the way to bras brasah area for more holga. haha. but again the prices aren't far from what we saw.

we were all very hungry and yet spent quite some time to decide on where to eat (we do have tight budgets at times). finally we reached just acia at suntec to make sure our stomachs were filled. fun dinner moments with stupid jokes and lame actions as usual.

friend left for something else. so we stayed on for a while before we had a walk around suntec then travelled back home. saw a quite a nice looking pouch in springfield but i was hesitant on purchasing it- because of price? a little. ($59) how i wish my classmates bought me this instead. haha.

so tempted to buy a cheap holga camera now and start snapping. i got this good deal from my friend: http://khloee.livejournal.com/13911.html#cutid1 (you can get to see some of the shoots taken by the owner in it too)

during the trip i suddenly had this idea of having a holga camera for my very future honeymoon trip (other trips too but that was what came through my mind first...which is pure dreaming.). i guess this can be a very good leisure hobby for me. but i doubt i will go beyond holga i guess. no matter what there are somethings which digital cameras can't replace.

"I will either get what I want, or learn what I need to in order to get what I want or better the next time."

they say that drama depicts life. i say music depicts feelings right to my heart.

i saw that warning sign. i let it go too easily. i accused and grumbled.

but i chose to crawl back to my bed of knives.

happy birthday.

maybe i shall buy something to please myself a little and let me forget about my tired legs and bad sales.

"you are light."

i am sorry clubbers but to me this is what clubbing really means:



basically i have only been going out with my friends for the entire week...spending money like farting. luckily i am gonna work for the next four days to try recoup my 'loss'. why did i say try? i have already had some items in mind to buy even before i start work- pair of converse sneakers, some t-shirts, real unique shirts, bermudas...argh. and stuff for ns.

i will really need to buck up on my less than impressive way of managing my finances...even though i can more or less be able to support myself financially but i am clearly aware that it will never be enough for me in the future. at least with my projected expenses for life in university.

either way i have zero mental preparation for tomorrow. maybe i must brain wash myself for the rest of the night to have myself in the promoter mood by the morning.

got addicted to coldplay's music these few days...the music is clear and the lyrics are deep. it just doesn't bore me to keep listening to their songs like the scientist, warning signs and a rush of blood to the head...even when i am writing this post now. haha.

again i will be in suntec at friday. second time. wonder what will the weather be for that day...what will i feel on that day too.

"it loses its meaning, eventually."

had some job training for the upcoming IT show from 11th june till the 14th. my friend and i were kind of late (the truth is we were having our kaya toast brunch at the basement when we were supposed to meet them up) to meet up at the central at clarke quay.

quite surprised it's a crowd for this brand this time. and most of the would be promoters are guys...except for just one girl who is...well let's move on shall we?

so we went up to the office building (which seriously has a hotel-like environment) and the office...gives me quite a different impression.

received printouts, sat down and here they go. on my left there's two new noobs who's gonna be our colleagues for the upcoming four days (and most probably die in our hands) and the right of my friend were a bunch of monkeys who claimed to be the experienced promoters for this brand. why would i call them a bunch of monkeys for no reason?

simple. while the presenter kept emphasising on the importance of asking him questions if unsure, there this particular guy who asks seriously brainless questions (self defined: questions generated because you are lazy to think it through) and the rest of his friends making noises here and there...

got quite bored and decided to go with my friend mid-way during the presentation (he has a medical appointment to attend and "so do i"). so i escaped from boredom and he has to go off to outram park. so i got the other friend coming out of his house to meet me asap while i have a trip to funan for some memory sticks prices.

and i concluded that i should wait for the arrival of the IT show.

then i went to the two peninsula plazas (didn't really give a damn which one is the plaza which is the mall but i know one is burmese infested even during weekdays and the other seems more normal) to look out for t-shirts, shoes and short pants...quite disappointing i guess. the only thing that got me interested was a pair of bermudas with not well done fabrics.

so i walked around with the other friend around the raffles city shopping mall while waiting the other to finish up his check up. AGAIN i couldn't see the esprit bag i saw at tampines days back...franchises in singapore seriously are not product sync.

went to orchard and meet up. walked around (with nothing that i got interested in), chit chatted, ate and went back. kind of fruitless shopping trip in the end.

not in a mood to work. too many lazy bones in me i guess. or maybe i am focusing too much on what to get for myself...haha.

a great day at johor!

i was quite pissed off in the morning because my mother sort of lied saying that we will get back by afternoon. and it got more irritating when we were stuck in the sbs bus along the way to the m'sia checkpoint.

but the feeling got off very soon as our uncle picked us off for lunch.

so we arrived at this small (but luckily air-conditioned) shop that sells snacks confectionery etc. but i heard that their soon kuey is nice so all of us got quite a number of each flavour to try. oh they are quite nice. the skin is thin enough...though the filling is not as much as compared to those sold in sg...

next we went to a kelong! quite anxious along the long trip to some deserted kind of wooden jetty.

so we reached there...walked on the wooden planks (not a row of nicely placed ones but sparsely spread with spaces between each other) of the jetty...climbed down a few steep steps to the floating platform and onto a small boat.

frankly speaking it was my first time to such a place so i got nervous at the start. but after i began to adapt to the floating platform and seeing my big sized uncle getting more nervous of not balancing himself and fall, i began to ease.

so we spent quite a while and effort to get ourselves onto the boat and set off to the kelong. very short trip of only a few minutes.

we boarded up the kelong (after a short while of alighting everybody up) and...quite nice is what i can say about my first impression. no matter what it was my first time so many things look interesting at that moment- the scenery, what those guys (my uncle's friends) do at there etc...

they are actually growing mussels (of a few kinds) for sale. they are also selling some baby mussels (which actually don't come with the shell). unfortunately they just started out this business and the first batch of mussels were only down in the sea two months ago (upon asking i was informed that mussels are ready for harvesting only after six to eight months).

scenery wise it was so so...at my back it's m'sia so in front of me it's sembawang and its shipyards... -.-
and it was quite hot even with some sea breeze at the middle of the afternoon.

so an indian guy was getting ready to fish with young mussel flesh as bait...two chinese guys doing some maintenance...my uncle and my mother soaking their legs in the sea water while i paced around looking at the scenery and somewhere which is cooler.

after we went ashore we went to a shopping mall (in which we bought some food and i got a t-shirt) and then dinner.

a small looking stall opposite a shop house at the corner. seems normal (with some flies) but my uncle recommended it for their satay, nasi lemak and rendang chicken. so we had a try of all of it and...oh man. the rice is full of fragrance...the rendang chicken is not spicy yet tasty with its hard to forget rendang sauce...and the satay. we got ourselves chicken and mutton (too bad i can't get myself beef when i am with my mother) satay as side dish. i dare to say that's the best i have eaten in my life...especially the mutton sticks. let's just compare...you know those typical sg mutton sticks? small sized, hard and dry ones? as compared to bigger meat fillings, very fresh (the charcoal was just done when we reached), juicy and soft. it's not burnt badly despite the habit of malay vendors grilling with strong charcoal flames; only with some soot here and there so i can say because of that the mutton's tenderness and juiciness is wickedly retained. paired with a plate of satay sauce...heavenly.

i ordered a cup of some tea (which i have no idea what it's called in english) by the suggestion of my uncle. it has literally three layers of ingredients when served- the top layer being the tea, at the middle condensed milk and lastly some thick brown sugar solution at the bottom. oh that's nice too. it's just like...iced milk tea with more fragrance brought by the brown sugar. but it doesn't get you thirsty after that. drools.

well at least today was not badly spent.

things to get:

-digital watch for ns
-shaver
-any other ns related/recommended items
-cool sony mp3 player! (optional though)

when the tvs first came out entertainment grew to further heights. so are the artistes.

many entertainment companies are eager to hire artistes for various reasons and aspects of entertainment. as there were often shortages of such talents, scouts from various companies are always out to keep an eye on any possible options for grooming and nurturing.

you are counted lucky in if you were one of those scouted. but does that bring you stardom right after this? hell no. it's just the start of all the hard work and determination to stay in the industry.

so now with HD tvs just out and right after that LED tvs as thin as my finger emerge. speed is everything nowadays. the same applies to entertainment too.

big entertainment companies nowadays are those with big money, big stars. so perhaps the big gets bigger and over shadows the small sooner or later.

so you want stardom? which kind of company will you join?

on the other hand the big boys in the industry will also want to get the best diamonds out there. somebody who can create an instant impact. from the start. how about the end? who cares?

so what gives the supposedly big star an instant impact on the public? first impression of course. if that is accompanied with lots of advertising and packaging i am sure many will be hooked. so basically if you have the so called "x-factor" (which can mean anything), then the big boys will have the cash to spend on you.

it's quite surprising too that amidst a small bunch of those who still work hard to get popular, the majority of them are still embraced by their die hard fans ever since that impact hit on them. hard work wise it's quite debatable but i am sure their fans wouldn't really take that into consideration at all.

went back to the poly campus for the last few times to meet up with my classmates attending the graduation ceremony. kind of draggy at the area outside convention hall and the weather was quite hot.

took them quite another while to decide on another place to lunch out later (because the initial place set was quite expensive to some people). then we set off to marina square's seoul garden for lunch.

well i can say the atmosphere at first wasn't that great because of late guests and some emo faces...but when the food is brought i guess (at least for my table) it got better. so we eat and eat...

meal's done with and some of them had to leave early...so left with a bunch of guys who decided to go lan gaming all the way till 10 plus. end of day.

i don't know why but i sometimes feel quite out of place yesterday...

three years flashed past...more or less i think it's kind of wasted as usual...just like the secondary school days. oh well. hopefully i can find a proper part time job soon.

so i was going to board the lift at my flat just now when this old lady asked me to let her in. she said ninth floor even asked me which floor do i stay. then she requested me to accompany her to the ninth first.

i thought the job's over but she said no that isn't her flat. she then asked me to accompany her to go down a floor to have a look. i was sure she isn't my neighbour upstairs but i still let her have a go. i decided to call my mother at the eighth floor (she did help an old lady look for her flat and i thought she might be the same person). luckily she remembered where the old lady stays and i suggested to bring the old lady over to the correct flat.

and i knocked, knocked and pressed the bell to nobody in the flat. with the old lady saying that she doesn't have the house keys, she suggested that she will go down to the senior citizens' area and wait for her son to pick her up.

along the way she asked me which floor i stay twice, whether i wanna have her packet rice twice, what floor is this many times (at different floors) and thank you for many times.

the last thing i can help her is to put her with the folks around here and let her wait till her son comes to look for her.

quite a long day out.

had to do all the crap in my house until my friend "saved" me from the depths of hell when he asked me to go out first.

already had the desire to go to far east to look for tops or what not...so "escaped" quickly to orchard to meet my friend.

quite disappointed by what i could find or see. i really wonder the problem lies on the quality of the stuff sold or i am too picky for anything...the whole 2 hour plus trip the only item i saw was a glam black pair of zara shoes. $89.90. Let me observe the situation during the great singapore sales then.

went to bukit batok later to meet some poly classmates for friend's 21st birthday bbq. everything was still ok though we didn't have much for that bbq. feel kind of weird because we had to leave for jurong point before the cake cutting celebrations took place.

so we had to leave to jurong point to find another friend to buy/get her the birthday gift. as we left a little late to get her a bag from espirit. spent quite a long while to decide between a really average bag and another slightly above kind of bag. i had to ask them to vote before we got an answer. before the staff really get irritated by our last minute efforts.

met our friend up and decided on some hong kong restaurant to have a simple meal. along the way...now to think of it...i am kind of like a support. on one corner we have a couple in the cliq...one corner we have another classmate who just joined us then left shortly...then 1 guy trying to share (and maybe to gain attention?) his ns experience with the rest...or maybe specifically to the girl he likes...

so that guy talk and talk...and his usual habit of blurting anything out became his dead spot...again. blurted something on the couple were kind of unsettled on and the girl's face changed all of the sudden. they are actually going to genting with the girl's family soon and yet the guy doesn't want the girl to accompany him to the ferry terminal for bmtc...because he might miss her badly? huh? i am a little blur on his reasons though.

so the atmosphere turned to the down side for a while before we decided to foot the bill and go home (it was a little late too).

"if the foundations are weak and you insist to build on from there, basically you are waiting for it to collapse."

"没有100分的男女朋友, 只有50-50的情侣."

when i listen to various songs sometimes it's interesting that i would have the deja vu feeling from it...

was listening to the old mando-pop songs in my library when that feeling came back again. i then realised that it's not deja vu...i have just put a right song for that exact moment.

birthday girl's bbq tomorrow! kind of look forward...at first. but upon hearing that some of the guys are not going i am starting to cross my fingers...

kind of surprised that the organiser of the bbq is the exact birthday girl...but she's getting a ipod touch!

...there i go again.

hopefully i will watch all of these movies asap...

terminator salvation
night at the museum 2
transformers 2
blood
up

it's been a while from my last post. been a little busy from last friday onwards...so sort of trying to rest (a lot) and catch up with the stuff i have to do.

worked for a three day IT bazaar thing in CK Tangs last friday. Everything went quite smoothly...just that the event perhaps didn't turn out to have a very good response at the start...

at first the event was opened only to visa card holders (was it platinum and above?)...but the crowd response...maybe it's because it's only a friday afternoon...

so the privilege of having such visa cards mean that you are entitled to shop in this allocated area and buy various IT products with discounted prices (coughs and clear my throat) using your card.

soon it was 6pm and they suddenly opened to the public. so for the second day and third day the guys from Tangs have to open up to the public with the discounted prices to everyone...

-.-

i wonder what will those card holders who bought something on the first day think of this. perhaps they wouldn't care much about that too but...oh well. this issue is very debatable.

the good thing was that my friend worked with me through those three days. we chatted and joked around quite a lot (because we don't have to promote at all unless approached by customers) and didn't really care about the sales...

but through him i was able to reflect on quite some issues and my plans after ns...hopefully we can keep in contact in the near future.

next thing...i should say is a piece of good news. one of my good old friend (that same guy who fancied that girl bound for further studies at UK) is starting think properly at least...haha. majority of the praises should go to the club cliq he is close to now...they really discussed the relationship with the girl with him and has more or less been persuaded before he approached boss character (and that's me! because i have already told one of the guys beforehand that i will be the bad guy for this issue) for advice.

well i don't have to say much to let him understand my point. though he complimented that my opinion is on the general scope of the issue instead of pin-pointing the details, his personality flaws etc. which helped him more but i feel that if he doesn't accept the details then he couldn't have seen the bigger picture i tried to depict to him.

well i certainly think that it's a good start for him...not too late.

then off they went to genting for three days two nights! sobs...

so envious of them...but i rather save up now...even if it's just a mere S$150++.
but it also triggered me thinking on where to go for my uni graduation trip...hong kong? japan?

friends' birthdays coming up...one of them is receiving a ipod touch for her 21st birthday...cool.
one my friends asked me what do i want for my birthday and i was like...huh? asking me for my birthday gift? though i don't really like it this way but apparently nothing is on my mind now...

but my mother is right. it's better than they buying something that i might not like later. sighs. how i wish i can tell them i don't want anything. sounds stupid huh? after paying up for the rest of the gifts and not expecting something back...but i just don't like the idea of asking...

and how i wish i can really be that greedy to have that for my birthday gift...i can carry on daydreaming then.