saturday blues anyone?

wanted to go out today but felt kind of lazy to be out alone in town.

bored bored bored.

finally ended my driving course...kind of relieved. but kind of nervous of the changed life back in jurong camp. my instructor asked me to add him in facebook! but sadly i can't find him in the search results...how how how?

had a pretty nice 9km run this morning at west coast park. had to reach the macdonald's at 7am but as usual we had to wait. quite a crowd there as almost the entire battalion was involved. kind of challenging for me as i nowadays would listen to my mp3 player during my sunday runs. not that i didn't bring my player along...but i wouldn't wanna let my arm strap smell just in case i would need it at sunday morning (we had to wear our usual pt singlet to do the run.) alright then i had to listen to my heavy breathing while running...something that i am not used to anymore.

luckily i managed to finish it. but surprisingly i was a bit faster than my normal 7 plus 8km runs. kind of happy for it...with all the comments from my friends saying that i was fast...ya ya.

was talking to ashley about her birthday gift...sighs again i thought of how badly was mine. things are still best when it's earned by your own hands. or maybe this bunch of people are just...

"tell me it's not my imagination."

for those who don't know i finally passed my driving test with the 3 tonner last week...only at the 7th test. so the joy of it is like happy now...next moment i am back to normal.

so i have been driving...experiencing other drivers' driving etc. good and bad. gonna go back to jurong camp soon. good and bad too...with quite a bit of change in management.

can anyone tell what should i choose- between a brain that restricts yourself logically or a heart that runs too wild in the crowds. aiya my mind's in a mess...at times.

another week of mental torture for me. failed for another two times. it's too surprising to be true. especially for the latest one...everything was fine till the point i stopped my vehicle in front of a controlled cross junction which has a area of slope. i was clear of that yes. in the driving centre itself there was no such problem when i moved off from the slope to perform the turn about. and yet. the moment that i rolled back on the public road will be something i will probably never forget.

and there was another moment that's still fresh in my mind till now. had my driving lesson (or rather remedial) from the mandai camp to yishun area for the first time. fine. not much of a problem for me. till that point where my heart stopped. just like that deja vu when i was hanging up before the drop in the G5 cabin back at taiwan.

it was in the yishun neighbourhood. i was driving at the fourth gear along the right lane of a two lane road...gonna make a right turn ahead. i noticed a crowded bus stop on my right. everything seems normal.

the next second a school kid dashed out to the front of my vehicle. yeah my heart stopped. my brain managed to send the last command to my leg to get to the foot brake before it went blank. at the same time my instructor pulled the hand brake. loud screeching noise. clear tyre tracks behind. engine stalled. but was luckily on time to avoid that son of a bitch from tasting my fender.

and yet he continued running across. and there was another car (which i barely noticed in amidst of all these) on my left which my instructor was worried for- should the driver not notice in time, that kid might have flew into the air for the last time. luckily for the kid again.

i took around 3 seconds to bring myself back to start the engine. no response from it for a few times. the crowd at the bus stop were looking. fine. at least they didn't see my legs getting jelly.

went out to orchard to meet darren up (surprisingly i still had the mood.) man saw this black leather jacket from river island with nice gold zips which are not properly aligned. $199. i would still have to pay $150 even with that pathetic $50 capitamall voucher.

too bad then. later saw the red jacket i was very interested in at vivocity zara. $49.90- but with no sizes i can properly fit in. another barren trip.

maybe things spiced up a bit when kim suddenly appeared in zara. ah so weijun wanted to pass her her birthday gift. later on the way back home weijun claimed that he's over with her...maybe i am too sensitive or the typical mando-pop songs are always about fallouts or breakups...but his selection of songs seem to speak otherwise. but the main part is that there was a guy following her after we parted (which i never noticed till darren told me.) oh god. tall. skinny. wears a ralph lauren polo. plays with his iphone quietly at a corner while we chatted for a bit. in zara men some more. darren said he's wooing her. but to me it sounds more like stalking her. but she's going to club afterwards. so...as compared to her rather chic outfit...ralph lauren polo, jeans and sneakers for club? maybe some people likes to have those...you know those sure get deals or something.

immediately i teased weijun about the cost of his outfit. darren said he's from the working class. which i realised...maybe most people would only consider going out with people of the similar social class. we are still poor kids after all. that's why i guess i am right...career is ultimately more important.

went to carnivore@vivocity for the second time- within a month. god it's $45++ per pax and their drinks are mainly priced at $8...and for both of the occasions i was giving treats- once for my mum's birthday and this time as a group giving treat to weijun's 22nd birthday. so hope that you can understand my pain in the pockets.

as for those who know i shouldn't have beef in the presence of my parents, the first trip was kind of wasted for me. maybe i am back to redeem for my "sins"...wahaha.

to all peeps, especially meat lovers, trust me. carnivore is a must go. the way they get the meats done is certainly the best i ever tried. i personally recommend the fish and lamb as a must try. service is great too. the dollars spent were worth the brazilian experience. well my weight shedding plans...at least was forgone for that buffet dinner.

so had lots of fun...lots of meat...and i certainly don't understand why i was more lively and cracked a lot of jokes. then we moved off to the chevrons for karaoke. more people joined- with a simple birthday cake to celebrate with.

ps: jun cheng wanna watch the expendables? haha.

any idiot who witnessed me failing the driving test for the fourth time would have thought that i am worse than themselves (even though there are still some peeps who hasn't drove out of the camp during tests.) i am really exhausted. mentally. not really about the lessons to make up for the next test but...the feeling of my friends who passed and left the camp for orientation in other vehicles...it really felt bad...in the quiet bunk...left with only a few more guys (whom some didn't really mind, surprisingly.)...and i am stuck in there because i am stuck with some mistakes only on the right turns. some more it's the same for all the previous three attempts. three times in row a leh!

went to the cathay to watch the last airbender with my camp mates. it's quite nicely done, with neat animations and stuff. just that the story's pace is kind of fast...even with the sequel to be expected (which i only realised towards the end of the movie.)

decided to go somewhere chill a bit with desserts before going home. but we got ourselves finding our dear friend's car through the floors of parking lots. god damn it i was kind impatient and pissed at some point of time. how can you as a driver forget where you parked? oh gosh.

finally found the car and moved to some dessert shop...before i got dropped off back at dhoby ghaut.

damn. was too tired to jog this morning.

this week is like a week of lows...and bland days.

flunked twice in the final driving test for the 3 tonner. morale down.

the rain killed my plans to jog in the morning. better still.

wanted to go out but...with the failed tests, i don't really have any mood left to do so. or perhaps it's because i am especially tired this weekend.

during the week i witnessed somebody from saying she's been crying for two days because of her boy lying (anyway the situation sounds stupid in my opinion) and wanna die to commenting that she's the happiest woman now. i couldn't just tell her to break up with him (even though it was a good chance to do so and it is still my stand) and yet i couldn't find anything to console her. well that's their domestic affair after all.

what else can i do during weekends besides waiting to book in again?

life is getting more and more lifeless...

driving course for five and half days every week. so it's just driving, tests, psp and newsweek catching up. yes i would love to drive next time...but driving everyday seems to become more and more of a chore. never mind i can still take that.

weekend wise i am getting more and more lazy i guess. perhaps the fact that i've only got around a day more before i book in again makes me feel damn dreaded moments before i depart for camp. and yet i am still assigned with chores at home by my mum. it's dumb to escape out to town just for this but more chores means lesser time...i need more time for myself.

had a gathering with the ns guys at holland village crystal jade for steamboat buffet. well frankly speaking it's just so so (and some even said the experience is good even though the area is cramped up, little selection of food choices etc.) but never mind. gathering mah.

initially they wanted to do it as a bbq. so i paid five dollars for the food and stuff mah...suddenly they had a change of plans...and without me knowing they used the five dollars to buy a birthday gift for a guy in my platoon instead...seriously. wtf should i say. i am someone who doesn't like unplanned stuff. and ironically it seems like everybody were informed beforehand. yeah i was informed eventually. right before i was my way home to come out for the dinner.

and it's like...out the blues we are celebrating birthdays...aiya! maybe it's because my 21st was a screw up. maybe it's because i am a miser.

fine. after that they wanted to watch a movie in town. initially they were saying inception (which i really catch it asap) but changed to "something else" (i should say anything else since they came unplanned, didn't check the timings and seatings while knowing it's saturday.) like what i feel for my poly classmates and since my good buddy left to meet his girl, i decided not to waste my time and left for home.

i realised...there's nothing else i can try about her. you can't beat some guy who can provide financial security. especially when you compare a poor ns guy against a guy in mid 20s who works overseas...you can roughly gauge the pay huh. he's just another tall skinny guy man...but why him?! maybe that's where the numbers (age, savings in bank) come in.

but i think the most important point is that we are already worlds apart from the start. financial status...the environment that we are in now (work compared to just ns.) please don't tell me that all these don't matter...yeah i know. i can climb up the social ladder but by the time i do so my guess is she's already cut the wedding cakes with that guy. drama is a depiction of life but never the other way round.

"you can be a hundred bucks poorer but you might be a hundred worlds away from those richer."

damn now i need to get down soon to help carry stuff for my father. so how can my life be?

i am starting to love driving. though for the start of the week i did get nervous driving the iveco 3 tonner for the first time, but eventually i got the hang of it. i have to especially mention this instructor by the name of gordon goh who took me for yesterday. since he's a old time driver during his ns days (driving the old mercedes tonner- which has its hand brakes at the right side and cranky gearbox...oh god. i am lucky.); he taught me a lot from a driver's point of view. he made me feel very relaxed throughout the whole trip and shared with me his experiences, own techniques and stories. damn nice guy. thank you again sir.

my friend asked to join another network marketing group. the more i look at it the more i feel that the products are just mere what you can see on the shelves. but again this spiked me to restart my thoughts on opening a blogshop. i currently have an idea though. but by looking at how the other shops are...they don't look promising to me. sounds bad. but that might also mean a chance for me. should keep this in view.

as i wish to but sometimes it's hard for me to open my mouth to get back the old debts from people. because they are not really like big amounts that can make me go broke...and they are close to me too. maybe it's just me who mixes personal and monetary issues together. like what the chinese say- "to talk about money means to harm a relationship."

it's still drizzling out there but a song struck me just now:

下雨天

下雨天了 怎么办 我好想你

我不敢打给你 我找不到原因

为什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉

沉默的场景 做你的代替 陪我等雨停

期待让人越来越沉溺（疲惫）

谁和我一样 等不到他的谁

爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味

一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜 怎样的我 能让你更想念

雨要多大 天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不出哪些差别

结局那还能多明显

别说你会难过 别说你想改变

被爱的人不用道歉

i am just afraid that i would be lying dead should you ever come back to me with a chance.

hectic week- been driving and driving. but good thing that i passed both the driving assessment and defensive riding test at one go- with the assessor's rover which has a way softer accelerator, clutch and steering wheel than what i normal drive with. and thanks to the clutch i got the engine stalled on the slope -.- but still, a pass is a pass.

and i am going to the public roads tomorrow! kind of excited yet cautious about the world outside. on the other hand the test on highway situations might kill my next saturday off. hopefully my luck works by then. am also thinking of getting myself registered for the civilian basic theory test once i get the military license- while the safeness in me is still fresh. haha.

went to friend's 21st birthday yesterday. people mentioned about why nothing was done on my birthday. hm. i gave a direct and truthful reply.i guess since it's over it doesn't matter if they know everything or not. the issue on just $50 worth of capital mall vouchers for the birthday girl is really...i am speechless.

alright if you can't think of anything decent- then vouchers are fine. but $50...what can you buy with it for your 21st birthday? but again. a trend shouldn't be a norm. maybe i should have kept quiet.

felt like messaging her. have never done so after i met her.

why doubt myself? unless there's something wrong about me now. which i've already got a hint. something very bad.

first of week of driving@kaki bukit.

the bunk at sembawang is still ok...only the neighbours and the regulars (specifically BOS duty personnels) that make the life either concerned and irritated at times. food is worse now too.

but besides that...it's quite hectic for this week. guess it's just the starters. highway code practiced (and practiced) and memorised, tested and passed within 5 days. and to think that they say it's harder than the basic/advanced theory test out there...thankfully i passed.

had a first try of the driving simulator at wednesday. damn cool! imagine the thing as a bigger sized simulator cabins that you see in arcades that comes with motion (and some more it's made by lockheed martin). wah. it's fun and quite realistic too.

next comes the actual driving. the instructor is kind with me and i guess i am slowly get the gist of manual cars...but of course the clutch is always a pain in the ass job. the rover jerks when i released the clutch too early.

i've got crazy bunk mates who are so nuts for world cup (the betting side.) 1 guy betted $2k (yes $2000.00) on a match- and lost.

guess jun cheng reminded me yesterday..."what's yours will be yours."

the odds are never that clear in my head. stable relationship. conservative mindset. aiya i am maybe trying to be a sore loser- i myself am not even earning from a proper job. and still wanna compete against some older guy nearing his thirties (soon i guess haha.) and having a stable job...who can attend to her anytime he wants (argh...life of a civilian...)

you get the idea? a guy in his late twenties...obviously wants a stable and lasting relationship. and normally they don't just any how pick a girl from the streets...they want to settle down sooner or later...and thing is she doesn't look like a player in this field...man.

but as long as my heart beats arh...the other side of me is telling me to fight...because i think she's worth a fight (at least for now...till i get to know her better...but god knows when will that be and what has happened by then...you know?)

why? she's still single mah. not that i will break them up (i am not that smart either for this kind of stuff) but just that i will be there once there's any chance. any chance.

moreover ever since after jo's case and sheryl (saw her yesterday at jurong point)...i don't wanna miss a chance if i am sure of it. no doubt i might bleed dry but...if i never try nothing will change. all that went through my head will either come true or demolished.

alright i know this is bad for a conclusion but...the worse thing is what if she's just plainly looking at me as a potential client? it's quite plain for me to see le lah...suddenly she contacts you...along the way leaks that now prudential is now pushing on saving plans/insurance and telling you that next time she can intro me to the plans and help her promote before she leaves...a long fish line bait for a big fish?

BUT THAT'S WHAT I HATE TO SEE! i don't wanna meet her as a potential client. and that's something i can change within a short time...especially after a long while of being a lost contact (i don't think she has a facebook account and it's been ages since she last went to msn.)

i let go of jo that easily. i regretted. i was too foolish for sheryl at that point of time. i regretted. how many more times am i gonna do that again?

i always believe destiny is a mixture of fate and human effort. maybe you might think that i am falling into the category of guys who won't feel shiok if the girl they are getting is not with challenges- but no. i just don't wanna miss another her.

my friend said about counting the number of lines on the side of your clenched fist- i got around three. fine with me. i don't have the habit of having flings and play around. or rather it's a standard excuse of someone who doesn't have the criteria of doing so. that's why i'll have to fight.

war is like men's favourite hobby isn't it? haha.

feel really glad that i managed to get out for lunch with jun cheng (really ps that i didn't bring the souvenir from taiwan for you leh...it's been so long le...)

had nice ramen for lunch at clarke quay central. luckily jun cheng felt it's not bad for his first try. i am just getting back to taste something i missed. his treat.

wanted to watch the movie a team at vivocity after that but there weren't much good timings nor seats (selling fast and it's a last minute decision.) man with toy story, a team and ip man coming up and unwatched...arh!!!

went to giant to get something before deciding to get back to jun cheng's house as he wanted to get something for me. wah. he got me a brown braun buffel leather wallet! picked by him- simple design, size comes good for my pocket and it comes with a coin compartment! lol (because my current one comes without a proper coin compartment.)

thanks leh bro. it's the most decent gift i got this year. you know what i mean.

went to play lan games for a while before going back home. damn it jun cheng's naruto is imba...lol.

just finished packing for tomorrow. still have dishes to wash later. feel quite dreaded to go driving though i am quite looking forward to learn driving someday...but the idea of you being scolded (and i actually mean vulgarities) by the instructor from the moment you board the vehicle till you alight might haunt me for a while later in the night.

thank you jun cheng again for the part from the msn chat. i should follow my instincts...and my feelings too. since it was what i felt that led me on when she said "yay i finally bought something!"

there's no second you. there's no second chance.

yesterday was...

went jogging at morning. was kind of late after chatting a bit of soccer with my father at 6am plus. but never mind.

went out with my mum and sis to the ica building to collect mum's passport. frankly speaking the whole thing ended very quickly. i didn't expect like twenty plus thirty people to be cleared that fast.

went to bugis to walk a bit before i leave them for ion orchard to meet her. shit i was late by a few minutes (first impression mah...) but she said a few minutes was fine. man supplementary idea one.

didn't really planned out where to eat the day before so we spent quite a while thinking of where to eat. in the end she suggested of a cozy japanese restaurant (forgot the name) that sells mainly on katsu don.

almost embarrassed myself when i was told that they don't accept nets. luckily my debit card saved me from the blushes. phew.

so we casually chatted over the meal for like...30 minutes? along the way more supplementray ideas.

she said that i am different.

then we went on a short shopping trip (which i didn't expect for...but also something i will never forget...at least for now.)

we went to far east. she claims to be a lazy person when it comes to dressing so she wants to focus on one piece dresses. truthfully i have to thank her for bringing me into those lady shops...for my sis nor my mum will ever want to enter (price sensitive consumers.) to it's quite an eye opener to be inside- i didn't know that the shops for females in far east are that good.

we went to quite a few shops and really saw quite a few nice dresses. i encouraged her to go try those she liked (her style is more of low profile and sweetie kind) and wah.

she said i am a good shopping buddy. maybe because i gave suggestions on how to dress up and accessorize (again she's lazy to accessorize.) she felt that i know a lot on these and she even asked me whether i am straight or not -.- oh gosh. lol.

but a thought struck me- i am just dressing her up for her boy. i knew it. i knew it at least a year ago. on that faithful IT show. and yet. she left me with the biggest impact yesterday. i know her intention wasn't just purely catching up. still...

mature. cheerful. thoughts on the same lines. bitter sweet.

she had an appointment to catch at 3 plus. and she left...and left me rooted for a while.

suddenly i felt like i am on a shopping spree. to distress? maybe. bought another pair of shoes and almost bought a 2 in 1 piece and a tee. rotted around before i went to chun leng's 21st chalet.

i am sorry chun leng...for i really had no mood to stay over night. and on kwan yong's 'secret' that he shared with me yesterday night...just like what tong jin said..."all of this is a joke."

hey isn't that the same as mine? all of this is just a like a joke. just like life.

initially i was alone in orchard yesterday morning. actually saw quite a bit of stuff that tempted me to buy- new look jacket, zara dress shoes, the idea book and some tops. but perhaps i was feeling damn sian, quite high prices and unwell so i didn't make the purchases.

in the afternoon darren and weijun came. we shopped a bit more (i bought a new look top- the only thing bought.) before we went over to the marina sands for a walk. they treated me to hokkaido@turf city for a dinner buffet before we went home. well i guess their intention wasn't to buy stuff but just treat me to a meal. so ok loh.

reached home to only find out that my father was displeased with me buying so many things (in a sense i have already bought quite a bit at taiwan.) but i realised i still got the appetite for local stuff. bad idea....

but on the overall this weekend doesn't feel like a birthday weekend. it only feels like a weekend of hectic, frustrating and sick weekend.

to my father, today is about getting up early and wanting me to pray according to his method before he goes to work. and look out for any 'abnormal signs' (it's just a bee.) and to get the water in the fish tank replaced asap.

well but thanks to facebook's birthday reminders i got a few post ups on my wall. thanks mark zuckerberg.

happy...birthday.

seems like it's gonna be the worst of all till now. intended to hold a small drink out session tomorrow but...

kwan yong held this event to celebrate everything- xiao hui and jasmine's birthday, first year graduation anniversary and for chun boon and me back from taiwan. not mine. it's at sunday because xiao hui can't make it at saturday. and both kwan yong and myself felt it's weird to meet up on both days...so i just cancelled mine. sounds stupid...maybe. then kwan yong tried to put it at saturday instead with his plans together. come on lah if you wanna celebrate do a proper one leh...use loads of excuses and combine here and there to let your vip xiao hui come (even when she has boyfriend le). i've enough of you le.

weijun suggested treating me to hokkaido tomorrow. and i bet he hasn't even done anything. asked where he intending to ask and his reply was to let me do the planning.

and they have been asking me what i want. it's all here lah. and all these only reflects on who's been here reading. but ironically that's what i wanted initially. so too bad. or rather...you cherish most the things you got by yourself.

ah forget it lah! screw it.

i'll just go on my own tomorrow bah. first to the movie lobby, then maybe a walk down to orchard then to IT show bah. case closed.

going for driving course the week after next. no more slacking. more shit to expect.

container's back. hell's back.

alright i got back here like...at 31st may 4.30am? was quite tired the past few days (resting, went out, catching up) and thus got lazy to blog...lots of stuff to say.

the trip to taiwan...well the first part (i can't say much though) i should say i am lucky to not go out and just help out with the container, wooden crates (many and heavy) and the equipment. i salute to those who were stuck in the area for four whole days doing nothing under the bloody hot sun before pushing out.

blink blink and the first event was over. i guess we were quite efficient with the packing up (yeah leave the hell of unpacking back at singapore) and thus we were left with around two days plus. on the first night there was the happy hour thing where we got to eat and drink (taiwanese beer!) to kind of celebrate.

the second night was nights out for us. i felt it was not worthy and didn't go (hundred plus near two for transportation and you only have at most 3 hours of movement within a small town that we have no info of where to go.)

the third day was a trip one of the amusement parks. initially i didn't want to go (i was determined to save up for the R&R @ kaoshiung and the entrance fee itself is already NT450...SGD20 plus) but my friend upon seeing that i seem to missing out all the fun decided to help me pay the transportation fee without my permission while i was away. at first i felt that i was in a dilemma- i have no intention to go yet i have to pay for it as it was already fixed before i knew it. so too bad loh.

so the next day we reached the park- and guess what? the first ride was their main attraction of the park- the G5.

my friends all started to get all excited and want to have that ride first. oh my god...i shouldn't be here and now i am still pulled along by them to take this ride; just like what i mentioned after the ride, "i haven't taken a roller coaster for ten plus years and now i took this!"

maybe when you are with your ns friends your ego will fan your guts to bet bigger. so alright i took it.

seated on the second row of the two row open cabin, i was still not feeling anything- until it starting moving.

a short straight before the climb over (p.s. the ride is built on a hill slope so we were already on some height) and soon enough it halts right in front of the drop point.

i remember i was shouting while my grip on the bar got tightened. oh wait...it started dropping!

that moment was still in my head- my body was in a near L shape, eyes looking down the height we were gonna dive through within two seconds or so. yeah i was still shouting; only till the drop. so there it goes: down a vertical track on very high speeds for about two seconds before it climbs up and back to the starting point. a short ride to hell and out.

my legs...i admit they were a bit jelly after the ride. but from then i was already sure that the trip was worth it. other rides were still ok- except one that goes swinging 360 degrees. again i went up unknowingly- to almost get a good whoop from it. the starting was fine till the g force started to get stronger and stronger. man i was about to puke. luckily the ride finished shortly after that and i got to recover- too bad for the lady beside my friend though; she started puking shortly before the ride ended. lucky that we didn't get a share of her processed breakfast too.

next day was finally our R&R. was already a bit sian because of the fact that we moved out to kaoshiung on the morning itself, not the night before or whatsoever. never mind. we reached the hotel at around 12 plus to find out that the hotel rooms are not done yet. damn it in the end we can only walk around the streets, have lunch and gather back at 3.30pm to check in.

on the overall the trip was still ok...the mrt station was surprisingly near to us...and the whole of it is in underground. we even got to notice a pretty girl for almost every mrt trip. haha. kaoshiung is not really a place for a feast of eyes but it's still better than nothing.

shopped some shopping districts and the night market. man the stuff they sell are of quality (in terms of fabric and design). price wise is still competitive or even lower than that of singapore's. no wonder i felt like puking when i walked around orchard yesterday. food wise- no need to say. their famous chicken cutlets, papaya milk shake and so many more...man i was informed that i still missed out their buffets and steaks.

so in the end besides the souvenirs i got, i bought for myself 3 tees, 1 formal shorts and 1 vest. the vest is really a buy- it's only about SGD20-30. but the disappointing part was that their tops didn't fascinate me (and that was what i wanted to go for). another thing was that i couldn't find nice dress shoes. lastly i feel kind of wasted not to buy that braun buffel leather wallet which costs just SGD98 when you can only get it at here for like...at least SGD120 perhaps?

oh ya a note about the hotel we stayed in. it's just like a blardy hotel for whores! i remember the auntie who asked us whether we need massage or not just after we went in to the room. we both looked at her and she still replied "of course it's not me who do the massage lah!" oh man. haha. the counter at our floor even has durex condoms too.

and my friend even purposely found the channel 15 which even broadcasts *clears my throat* from the hotel's own hard disk drive all day long.

so the short trip ended with us touching down on changi airport (my ears hurt all the way from KL to singapore). back to the boring life we used to have.

now the taiwan craze is spreading. everybody wants to get to taiwan. i also do feel that i didn't have enough fun and purchases back then. haha. but as to who i will go...must see the crowd first.

yesterday i suddenly received a call from xue wei. she sounds like she's having a good time in prudential and she wants to meet me up for a meal and catchup. hm...

what should i tell kwan yong & co to buy for my birthday? should i just let them buy anything and let it dust in my house? or just get anything i want? but what? shades? wallet? dress shoes? sighs. getting something proper for yourself can be hard at times too.

ironman 2- nice effects but...that's it.

kick ass- didn't regret watching it before i fly.worth it.and just like watchmen.in a more relaxed and shallow manner.

ip man 2- action packed.fast punches.storyline is average. humorous.best!haha.

packing is still undone.no mood to do so.can't get into the mood that i am flying to taiwan.

"let's buy a chance.maybe with that you wouldn't feel that the previous one is wasted away."

ah!!!it's the month of deficit!man i have used all the pay i got for this month...how?!looks like i gotta cut down when i am back...but...how about the 12th?am i gonna follow what the rest of them had done- a treat for them?chun leng suggested to have a night out on that day.but...aiya.

recalled of a crazy idea i had quite long on what should i do on that day- go old folk's home! or actually any home will do. (... ... ...you will think "HUH?!WTF?!", right?)

know what?i remembered at that point of time i thought that since i doubt i can do much to make myself happier (since it's 21st), why not make others happier?though it's only for a short while...

saw an article saying that the actual person the urban peeps don't cherish is actually themselves.point taken.agreed.

i also thought spending the day alone.then celebrate with the rest at another day.but weijun said it's selfish.

i have 0% of feeling ready to go to taiwan. luggage wise and deep inside.

did my heart want to take revenge just like husei hai in hi my sweetheart?but no worries.i got lost halfway.i guess i've never really got the lesson.

i think i am like an onion.nobody bothers to take a look at me.and should a silly girl ever gets curious (again) and starts wanting to know what's in the bud- every layer of me will get her into tears.some might give up halfway.and for those who ever got into the bud...all they saw was just a bud.nothing else.

"guess what?one of my regrets is not to step onto that ddr machine and just dance like a clown."

WARNING- hokkaido@turf city really serves good food!jun cheng and i went there to have the ala-carte dinner buffet.

watching hi my sweetheart recently.the main guy is always rich.good looking (show luo mah.) and romantic- perfect isn't it?

fairy tales also end with "and they live happily ever after." but how do they achieve it?what's after the story?it's always the prince who can earn this ending.maybe the word 'happily' is something very general or shallow to describe it.

i guess no matter how much i dress up or even impress the whole downtown...

it's only skin.

maybe a good lover starts from a good family.