finally found one classic blazer from river island:

how's it? too bad but i found it only in a website...nothing similar sold in singapore (or river island) bah...at least from what i know now. maybe i'll get it for myself next year or even end of year?

another cool watch from diesel. but it's like what...$245 at tangs? -.- god i sure know how to pick expensive stuff.

guess the only way to get them is to kick start. a potential turn for me. we need a bold first step, mate.

getting curious on the kinds of clubs and societies in SIM.

or else...it's still day dreaming...everyday.

is it wrong to say "the time is now?"

it's tiring. very tiring to seemingly move on with things pulling you from behind.

i really don't understand what's left in my family. maybe my sister. my father is a learning example for me (bad traits wise.) and my mother? doesn't know how to get her own life and just clinging on me and pestering me.

yesterday i almost got myself quarrelling with her. with her usual short sighted self she asked "so you are not willing to go with me?" (sunday trip to malaysia)

i already said fine. but solely because she's not feeling well. "i don't know how to explain everything to you."

how am i supposed to tell her to stop pestering me every time she has to do something on her own? or to tell her almost everybody in the family is dependent on me for matters big and small- and yet i can't depend on them when i need help? or to ask her how much does she understand me to help me at all?

is this what family life supposed to be? is this how my life is gonna be? i am sure this is not what i want but what can i do?

perhaps i am the only one in and out of this blogspot and i need attention now- but my initial objective is to let it be low profile so that people will not be easily react to whatever i say. ironic huh?

i am really getting sick of everything- life stays the same when you are pushed to the limits everyday.

single and don't give a damn.

guess the june holiday trip is slipping into the soup, day by day.

been a while since i last talked to myself.

been quite a rough ride for me for the past few weeks- worked for a bit ($200 pay's still not coming though), sprained my ankle (frustration included), giving up on ah hai and just two days back- the final exercise.

guess it's kind of low profile for my camp from now. still very tickling on the idea of going on a holiday. taiwan or bangkok, anyone?

finally bought myself a watch yesterday. things should bought by yourself instead of waiting for people to bring it at your nth birthday party or even from the sky i guess.

been clocking quite a lot of time of the latest dissidia (people are saying i am becoming a addicted gamer) but i find it to be very meaningful.

life's a fight to the final fantasy.

do you still regard someone as your father if he treats you like a dog?

am i worth the trouble?

foot's still badly swollen. seriously it's getting on my nerves. thoughts of it not being able to recover by the upcoming major exercise (in a few weeks time) and perhaps even when i gonna study at july all are afloat in my mind now.

anxiety. then frustration.

the about going on holiday before studying? that's even more complicated. so many people to reject for one trip. undecided locations too. how how?

maybe i should just do it all with the university application next week.

went for a last minute job last weekend.

actually it's not bad; got to see some celebrities and the pay is surprisingly good.

got to know a few new people- eye-catching one, kind of irritating one in particular.

THEN. came monday. a seemingly normal soccer game. and there i got my ankle sprained.

if i am not wrong it's an old injury too so the pain is kind of refreshing.

been to my neighbourhood's sinseh twice. not that swollen any more. but the frustration of immobility, troubling people...sighs. i just don't like the feeling.

another guy has really pissed me off to the max. how can you just accept other people's offer to help for your mistake? ya ya you said you don't want but in the end you accepted right?

seriously you are not worth my time any more. i wouldn't mind if you were to move up one day.

so some interesting thoughts for the week:

- am i looking for unanswered questions and replicas?

- the feeling of troubling others

- why not learn to respect/reflect on yourself before you complain? (in facebook some more)

- employee? you sure?

another week of rubbish. full of drama. hopefully it's a 100% week of low key ahead.

decided to change my subscription of newsweek to time magazine before the end of may. a bit too pro-american for the former.

gonna sell off the disappointing a-jays two away. even a twenty dollars pair of in-ear phones can win it. aiming for a creative x-fi player instead after experiencing the power of just attaching an amplifier to your mp3 player (costs a bit too though- $148).

i am seeing a lot of subjective people nowadays. nevertheless feeling 'sick' as always.

sometimes i feel like i am a rubbish bin.

62 dollars to the japanese red cross society. still wondering whether it will help or not.

there's so many things in my head that needs to be decided:

- university admission

- bank loan

- ord trip

is this the supposedly adult life that i always looked forward to when i was still a secondary school kid?

and the worst of all is that the tower card still lingers in my mind.

maybe you shouldn't have appeared again. and i should just keep on preparing myself till i feel confident again...but when will that be?

tsk...f*ck it.

how i wish i can just stay high with all the beer.

if it's anybody else getting married- not that i will give a damn.

but you...

looks like the clock will never go back in time.

sometimes i will question myself this:

"am i meant to follow?"

how much of a game changer do i need? or rather how much of a game changer am i aiming for?

even so, where is it?

"that's why you should try..."

have you heard of people are players when it comes to relationships?

of course i am not one of them. it takes criteria to be one.

or should i say...maybe it's because i choose to be laid back on this.

or maybe i choose not to hurt others (and most probably myself) till i am not that dangerous.

or maybe i've brainwashed myself with the simple fact that it might be just purely statistical and the visual appeal that helps.

i've no idea of what's next. everything seems so volatile nowadays.

(i know it's no point to dwell on this all day long; but sometimes it just happens when you can't think of anything that can interest you. business ideas of course.)

it's either left or right. and it's human nature to pick a side.

now it's my turn.

lesson learnt from yesterday: business ideas can hardly or never be an idealistic one. it's called a business idea for a reason. they didn't tell us that it has to be ethical.

the emptiness is draining me away.

so...happy valentine.

If Time is All I Have - James Blunt

When you wake up
Turn the radio on
And you'll hear this simple song

That I made up
That I made up for you

When you're driving
Turn the radio up
Cause I can't sing loud enough
Hard these days
To get my message through

If time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you

Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

When you marry
And you look around
I'll be somewhere in that crowd
Torn up, that it isn't me

When you're older
The memories fade
But I know I'll still feel the same
For as long as I live

But if time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you

Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

Won't you say my name, one time
Please just say my name

But if time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you
Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

If time is all I have
I'll waste it all on you

Each day I'll turn it back
It's what the broken-hearted do
I'm tired of talking to an empty space
Of silences keeping me awake

Won't you say my name
When the song is over