feels like having a cold war with a 7 year old friend...feels kind of...bad.

frankly i have to apologise for making my comments harsh for something small...perhaps i shouldn't have picked on that...

on the other hand it would really be a waste for such a friendship to go fragile because of a small matter...argh i have no idea.

jun cheng you are right. if you don't hate that person you have to tolerate.

happy mother's day to all.

went out with my family early morning for brunch at dian xiao er (jurong point). along the way met quite a number of people...lucky.

the food was not bad but somehow it didn't give me deja vu...too bad though.

accompanied my mother to orchard to get shoes.

perhaps i am tired today or what...i feel robotic at outside. so bored. maybe another round of shopping will hype me up. haha.

oh gosh gaga's in my head...listening to her latest songs from the fame. let's go gaga people.

just got back from some bbq gathering. so surprised by the potential couple. on the other hand i am happy for them should they get together...to me they look compatible. one's a leader one's a follower. but kind of funny because she had a good impression of him because he was looking for advice on getting another girl...haha.

but they might be faced with quite a lot of obstacles...one's going england for further studies soon the other going to ns...feel kind of sad for them that they found each other that late.

oh well. once again i am proven wrong. i thought such wierd pairings can't work. now then i know i have been too naive. on one hand i don't care but on the other i feel envious for them. one pair is already around for like a few months while the other...more or less ok.

sighs...what to do? just now along the way back home i kept telling myself my turn is not up yet...it shouldn't bother me etc...but in the end i still felt inferior. i wouldn't say that i have no confidence...but some things are already decided when you are borned.

"out of the weirdest elements come the perfect compound."

random.

jun cheng i am lazy to tell you personally but...today a suddent thought came into my mind.

still remember you told me that she ignores you and only approaches you when help is needed? i realised that perhaps it's because of the fact that you two are from different worlds means that you don't have a common topic with her?

i still remembered telling you about how realistic she was when she approached me on msn and in the end it was all about gpa. now i realised something from my part too...i have never treated her as a friend. i guess that really explains quite an amount of things from both points of view.

went with my friends to tiong bahru for X-Men Origins. well...unless you are there to see hugh jackman and his bulk of muscles or else please try to restrain your movie addiction for the the other upcoming titles. the storyline is quite stagnant and the actions...so so in my opinion.

"i don't know whether i am the alien in their eyes or they came from another planet."

was at bugis yesterday playing initial D arcade stage 5 when some guy suddenly requested to use my EK9...

after that it was as if i am watching the anime. he's damn good. and his timings are all in the top 3 rankings for all time attack maps...oh my god. my friend and i were totally totally demoralised.

but he's a nice chap. taught me quite some stuff on how to play it better. but he really surprised me when he said he's 31 when i thought he's just 20 plus...and one look my other friend said he's one big otaku. lol.

"i realised that i didn't lose you. i lost to myself and eventually got lost."

一个人就好- 刘力扬

街 挤满了欢笑

太不适合 眼泪凑热闹

快跑 快寻找 无人 的转角
不优雅时候 一个人 最好

爱 说退就退潮

我松开手 回忆却没放掉

未来 不来了 地球 继续绕
躲回温暖的梦 我一个人 就好

为什么 越相信谁能依靠
越换来 又一次灵魂寂寥
有没有永远 再不会让心绝望的解药
如果说 越踏出世界一脚
越不能 保留住天真微笑
那从今以后 我一个人过 就很好

心 很平静 地跳
只是寂寞 潜伏像海啸

突然某一秒 偷袭 我眼角
眼泪自己擦掉 我一个人很好

为什么 越相信谁能依靠
越换来 又一次灵魂寂寥
有没有永远 再不会让心绝望的解药
如果说 越踏出世界一脚
越不能 保留住天真微笑
那从今以后 我一个人过 就很好

What do you think? haha.

just random crap from me. since it's an old issue.

went to my friend's house yesterday...they own a nice dog! though they seem to 'abuse' it but it's very obedient. i want to own 1!

went to interview for information systems at smu. neither hard nor easy. e.g. estimate the number of christmas greeting cards sent out from singapore this year. we had to have an estimated answer within three minutes.

i will still say that the candidates were giving me pressure...one even had almost two years working experience at ncs...but somehow i feel confident. well arrogance is a double edged sword.

so my classmates went to sengkang to fly kite today. -.-

i guess i am a boring guy to start with...not to say going so far to do something i am least interested in and something better to be done with a couple (since we have one in our cliq/limelight) while they went as a group.

still quite pissed off with my friend today. asked me out just to see the girl he likes working at some shopping mall. please have some balls next time if you wanna do it...and still dare to tell me to go play after that...if i were to go i will feel just like a pawn you know? oh well even though that happens often...but that's it.

"never let others define the value of your life."

went out with my friends today to get a birthday gift.

along the way i discussed a messy issue (too lazy to note the details down but you can imagine what can happen between two guys and two girls la huh) with one involved.

now i see them from their point of view when they wanted to help me and another guy when we quarrelled and cold-war with each other badly...but i strongly believe i can help and solve the issue because i am dealing with guys. so it's easier compared to the time when they had to deal with two big boys.

so we walked along citylink when i chanced upon one of my poly classmates. hm...i don't know why perhaps she's without her contact lenses but it's just weird...? too much thoughts on this issue from my side perhaps...moreover i doubt i will care if she misinterprets anything and spread out or stuff like that.

got a call from SMU though in the morning saying that i am shortlisted for the degree in information systems... T.T

that was like...my last option for SMU? oh well. quite sad though...especially NTU doesn't even seem to bother sending me a mail of rejection? haha. let's see how the interview at friday goes before i decide.

went to malaysia with my mother today. not really a crowd at the checkpoint but the distance required to walk irritates me at times. luckily the new air con is able to keep me cool...

my mother was anxious to get me shoes because my old ones are either getting torned badly or slippery in rain...so she got me a pair of orange everlast slippers. then we went to FOS and saw another pair. and we bought it. -.-

i admit i am too picky on my choice of shoes because i was too stuborn on getting the puma el rey leather and tweed shoe or something look alike...oh well. walked quite a few rounds before i saw something quite nice...pair of "puma" shoes...

anyway.

so i kept repeating to myself "not now."

it's so hard to hide this thing known as "human nature"...it's just like hiding what's underneath your skin...and i know this is harder for me because i admit i am somebody who is easily distracted...was so since young...bad bad.

oh well. perhaps the upcoming stuff i gotta work on my project will keep me busy for now. at least i wouldn't let my mind go adrift easily...

and.

wondergirls are hot in SG...personally i feel there's this girl who is damn hot too...but wait. somebody pk against them! enjoy.

i am starting to dislike the word 'burden'...

"it's not the first time; so it's not the last."

林宥嘉- 伯乐

爱你的那一个 伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个 然后等待着下一个
最后哪一个让你最舍不得

感谢不能让别人来说
你给过我的 她们是做不到的
那时候的幸福是真的 虽然过去了
我们也都经历了

释怀教育着仇恨 和平劝着天下人
故事发生便住下了 不管好的坏的
你让我成长了 就算是痛得值得

爱你的那一个 伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个 然后等待着下一个
一个个过客过得快不快乐

爱你的那一个 伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个 然后等待着下一个
别太多过客祝你早日快乐

离开时别忘了 看看眼前的人
流泪记住了 还是微笑祝福着

is there anybody who will tell me that i am stupid not to attend my polytechnic's graduation ceremony? i do have my reasons not to attend too though...time to defend myself! -.-

- we have to rent the graudation robe. $25 i think.
- i rather have a real graduation when i finish my university education. that's really where i start to enter the workforce and do the shit.
- the people who are going...oh well.

i can't buy the shoe i want! the puma's el rey series. quite old. and i even saw a limited edition. the smallest they have was too big for me... -.-

can anyone tell me are there any stores in singapore that sells old limited edition shoes...?

just got back from my academic club's freshmen orientation camp yesterday...damn tired even though i was only there for 2 days out of the total of 4.

seems pretty good to me. just that everything is more welfare focused for the organising commitee...moreover i shouldn't be always whining on the juniors...we were also once like them.

my class people bugging me to go mount faber yesterday...again! it's super lame ok...going to dating spot in a group...god damn it. if you pair like to go to such places can you please have more balls to go as a pair? i know we have time on our sleeves but i have 0 interest in wasting it for such decoy activities ok?

just went to the chalet with my poly friends...how should i say it? so so? like being an extra?

thought it's just a chalet...but the first time i see them together...what's that feeling? bitter? mushy?

i feel like i have to cooperate with the rest to let them have more time together...so...to me it's just like a chalet for them instead...with the extras as...decoys? huh?

even had "star gazing" with everybody when the weather was bad. -.-

perhaps that is a mixture of jealous and enviousness. though that doesn't really bother me but i guess that might be one of the last few outings i am gonna attend...

got physically screwed by going back and forth the preparation camp for my academic club's freshmen camp. seems damn pointless to be there at all times.

"we always want to be right to put aside the fear of falling down."

oh well...i am still a human. no matter what there are times i would laugh at the most unlikely couples...and there are times when i feel lost...lonely and uncertain about tomorrow.

and i just realised...the fundamental issues inside me are not resolved. is this what they say as "human nature"? or is it just me who is weak in the mind?

can anyone help me? or is that stuborn me being reluctant to keep my mind clear?

fancy getting my poly cliq asking me to go downtown east today...at yesterday night. -.-

should i say i am lucky to have something on planned beforehand?

sighs. i am getting anti-social.

went to nike, adidas, topman/topshop, dorothy perkins etc warehouse sales yesterday. then my friend and i realised that the sales actually started from 3rd march... -.-

so you can roughly guess what kind of stuff is left in there.

then we tried to look for slippers/sandals and shoes at bugis and suntec area but to no avail. nothing fancies me in singapore nowadays. so boring...

on the other hand...quite a handful of stuff happening right now...i am surprised that i am able to observe quite some stuff just through observing people's msn nicknames and blogs. it's ironic that i am gonna sit and 'enjoy' the show but it's certainly not for me to interfere with. all i will do is to learn along the way while having a good laugh at the way they see things.

so my advice to them is:

- stop pestering. it's irritating to have a person bugging you everywhere. and NEVER mention about ex-interest in front of her. anybody gets sick when comparisons are being made on themselves. oh ya...stop giving in so much. you have to be yourself.

- i don't know about you. you rejected him once and now you agreed. so you think you are trying? i bet that it's because this time he is closer to your friends and once you are indecisive and your friends say "try lah!"...and there you go. that must be a reason why you rejected him in the first place. so that reason is back haunting you right now. and that reason is sort of there only after you tried it out with him that time...remember? i will call it...perhaps "proved reason"? it's not just a reason derived from feelings.

even if this is solved the pressure from yourself comes with the fact that he's the one giving in to you all the times (my guess though). if i were to ask both of you what can you do for each other i bet he will say something stupid/mushy like "anything" while you will pause in hesitation. even though he sounds stupid but he is able to convert his feelings into words and ultimately actions. how about you? your feelings to him are already not clear...yet you are confused at how you should react to him. why? because you haven't really go and understand him...

oh well. love is blind. but love is not compulsory people. stop trying to 'love' others when you don't know how to love yourself.

my own statement of the day!

对陌生人得客气一点.
对朋友可豪放一点.
对情人得细心一点.
对家人可冲动一点.

time changes. to me that is an excuse for many people.

to me it's simply more logical that it's we ourselves who have changed through time and in the end it's we who will change time.

skins. justice is the skin of fear, agony, unfairness, barbaric acts and pain. love is just the skin of fear, loneliness, greed and lust. sounds cruel to you? think again. these are what we turn to when we have such symptoms...isn't it?