gonna pass out next wednesday. but didn't feel as anxious as before. during the week the parade rehearsals and hectic schedules wore me out. and the weekend...i didn't give myself much time to rest too. in fact the weekend is more like a depressing one.

the oc's evening (we renamed it as commander's evening because our oc didn't attend...ironically) was full of fun and laughter. but there was this moment where i agreed with the host that we should be sad that we will be the last batch of recruits who are called yankee...because there will be something like yankee 2 after us...what kind of lame naming is that.

can't even run properly in the park this morning. i guess my mind wasn't set on that.

i guess i am feeling down not because something happened not to my liking...it's more like something (not to my liking) happened even before i try to do something about it.

perhaps things would be different should i have tried.

but i doubt i can do much either...especially when you have nothing to play onto the table. yet i don't wanna say pass that easily.

it is really funny when you keep doing something -even when you know you will hit straight onto the wall. the pain is always so similar...so familiar.